Beware the Performance Review Paradox

[00:00:00] How do you become fully confident and in control of your emotions and experience at work? It’s by mastering your own psychology and that of others. On this show, we decode the science of success, exploring how to get out of your own way and advance your career to new levels without becoming someone you’re not.

[00:00:24] I’m Melody Wilding, bestselling author, human behavior professor and award winning executive coach. Get ready and let’s put psychology to work for you.

[00:00:35] We are quickly heading towards the end of the year and with December right around the corner, I want to invite you to a very special event we have happening. It’s called the Promotion Playbook. And this is a three day closed door masterclass where for 90 minutes each day December 4th, 5th, and 6th, I’ll be teaching you the exact scripts and strategies our clients have used to land promotions, advancement opportunities, six figure raises at companies like Google, Amazon, Microsoft, and many, many more. And to get your ticket.

[00:01:11] All you need to do is head to managingup. com, Pre order a copy of the book in any format, audio book, ebook, hardcover, doesn’t matter from any retailer.

[00:01:24] And then all you need to do is fill out the short form on that page with your name, your email, and your order number. And you are in for this masterclass.

[00:01:34] Now since we are heading towards the end of the year, there is likely a lot swirling around in your mind right now, wrapping up those Q4 projects, planning for your holiday break, and inevitably thinking about what’s next for you in 2025. And maybe your inbox is filling up with all of the typical end of year requests, performance review, reminders, budget proposals for next year, headcount planning, spreadsheets, project retrospectives, goal setting templates for 2025.

[00:02:05] It can really be disorienting trying to at once close out this year strong while also trying to position yourself for the next. And if you’re like many of the clients that we work with, then you’re probably in one of two mindsets right now. Either you are frantically preparing for your upcoming review, you’re rehearsing exactly what you want to say, you’re carefully crafting how you’ll bring up that promotion or that raise you’ve been eyeing, or you might be telling yourself, well, my review has passed or my review isn’t until June or October, so I need to wait until the next cycle to be having those types of conversations.

[00:02:47] And here’s the thing, both of these mindsets, they make perfect sense. They are logical, structured. They align with how we’re taught to think about career advancement. That it’s something that happens at certain times and in certain ways. Our brains love clear systems. We love the fact that there are designated times for important conversations to happen.

[00:03:11] It feels much safer. It feels much more predictable. We feel more in control of the process. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to be prepared for your review or respecting your organization’s process. But if you’ve been listening to this show for any amount of time, then you also know that human psychology, especially in the workplace is rarely this straightforward.

[00:03:37] The reality of advancement is much more nuanced. So while we do have formal processes like performance reviews, those definitely matter. They are just one piece of a much more complex puzzle. They’re one moment in time,

[00:03:53] But the groundwork for your next steps in your career are being laid every single day,

[00:04:01] often in ways that aren’t even obvious. I want you to think about the last time big opportunities came your way. Maybe one or two came through a formal channel, but many tend to emerge from casual conversations that you have or because someone thought of you at the right time.

[00:04:21] this is where and why understanding workplace psychology becomes so crucial.

[00:04:27] Because while we are conditioned to focus on the fact that advancement should happen in a very structured predetermined way, the truth is the real decisions about our careers. Those are often happening in the spaces in between in the subtle interactions in the informal moments in the encounters that most people just miss or gloss over entirely. Right now in conference rooms and zoom calls across your organization, leaders are having conversations.

[00:04:58] That will shape the next year. They are sketching out which projects will get priority and who’s going to lead them. They’re discussing which roles might expand or evolve. They’re identifying who is the potential for greater responsibility. They’re making mental notes about who has demonstrated leadership capability.

[00:05:16] They’re starting to allocate resources and opportunities for Q1. None of these critical decisions are waiting for your performance review. The leaders who decide your future are making these mental notes every single day. They are looking at the presentations you give, the way you propose solutions, the way you lead meetings or participate, every project you deliver.

[00:05:41] These moments shape how people see your potential long before any official review cycle begins. Because by the time the formal conversation happens, 85 percent of decisions are already made.

[00:05:56] This is the performance review paradox in action.

[00:06:00] And I see this pattern play out over and over and over again, that thoughtful, talented professionals spend weeks perfecting their self assessment, gathering all amazing metrics, rehearsing their talking points.

[00:06:15] Only to hear in that formal conversation, let’s table this, let’s revisit this, or the budget has already been allocated. We need to see more consistency at this level. The performance review paradox tells us that career advancement is supposed to follow a neat, predictable pattern. And as I said, this is a comforting story because it makes our advancement feel controllable and linear.

[00:06:40] But it hurts you when you are spending weeks meticulously documenting your wins, preparing for that single conversation while others are building influence through their daily interactions. When we wait and we put off things to the right time to ask for advancement, when you save your best ideas for only the formal meetings, but leaders are actually forming impressions of your potential through hundreds of small moments throughout the year.

[00:07:10] That is the performance review paradox in action. Because by the time your review arrives, most decisions about who’s ready for the next level are made. So this is why you may hear things like we need to see more capability from you, or we need to see you take on more capacity, which was really decided based on how you were handling other team discussions.

[00:07:32] The budgets already allocated can also mean informal negotiations happened months ago about this. Let’s revisit this. Once you’ve had more impact. Can mean they haven’t really seen consistent evidence in their daily interactions.

[00:07:47] So your performance review is not when decisions are made. It’s when decisions are communicated.

[00:07:55] Now here’s the great news in all of this. Once you understand and you start to see the performance review paradox clearly, you know it exists. That’s really freeing. You liberate yourself from the pressure of making everything perfect in one single conversation or just at one time of year. It’s relieving to know that you don’t have to wait for a designated time to start building your path forward.

[00:08:22] You don’t have to craft that perfect presentation or memorize the perfect script, but here’s where people go wrong with this. They hear what I’m saying and they think, okay, great, I’ll just wait until January to start fresh. That’s actually just falling right back into the trap of waiting for the right time, the perfect time.

[00:08:44] The reality is the choices you make right now, yes, even in these final weeks of the year, they can mean the difference between starting the new year, feeling stressed and stuck or feeling confident and in control of your career path. Because if you are not strategic and proactive,

[00:09:04] the new year will come and nothing will change.

[00:09:07] And I’m sure you have seen this happen to yourself that you wait, you get to the new year and it feels like you just fall into this cycle of another year of watching less qualified people get promoted ahead of you. You get more vague feedback about waiting until the opportunity comes up. You experience the same frustration of being passed over for projects you would really love to lead or another cycle of hoping that someone will notice your hard work and inevitably they don’t.

[00:09:38] So you could start the new year exactly where you are now, maybe feeling undervalued, overlooked, wondering what you’re doing wrong and second guessing every move you make. Or you could arm yourself with a proven playbook. You could pre order a copy of my new book, Managing Up, how to get what you need from the people in charge.

[00:10:01] And when you do that, get your free ticket to join us for that promotion playbook masterclass. Remember, this is a closed door masterclass only available to preorder buyers. So it’s going to be a pretty small group. And over three days, December 4th through six, 90 minutes each day. Here’s what you’re going to discover.

[00:10:20] We’re going to talk about the subtle psychological triggers that make leaders fast track promotions while avoiding some of the eager employee mistakes that can undermine your authority. We’re going to give you word for word negotiation scripts. Our clients have used to secure huge raises, 20 k plus, even when they have been told there is no room in the budget, we’ll show you how to craft a compelling case that makes your advancement feel like it’s just the inevitable next step.

[00:10:49] And do that without sounding arrogant, entitled, or awkward. And we’re gonna give you the counterintuitive way to respond to the objection. Well, you’re not ready yet. And do that in a way that actually turns your boss into your biggest advocate. And all of this works, even if you are someone who has been passed over before.

[00:11:09] So I want you to imagine going into the new year, finally working on projects that actually excite you and light you up, having the flexibility to work when and where you do your best thinking. Feeling, valued and paid, compensated properly for your true expertise and having real influence over the decisions that matter.

[00:11:33] Now, this exclusive closed door masterclass, the promotion playbook is for you, even if you are someone who doesn’t want to climb the ladder in the traditional sense, but you do want to be paid fairly for your contributions. If you are someone who cares more about meaningful work than the corner office or a title, we’re going to show you how to negotiate for that.

[00:11:54] And if you are someone who wants work life balance will show you how to get that flexibility and autonomy. And even if you’re someone who doesn’t want management duties, you want to stay hands on with your craft, but you want to influence the shape of how projects are run. This is still for you because getting promoted, advancing isn’t always just about moving up. It’s about expanding your impact, creating the freedom for you to do your best work. The choice is yours. I hope you will choose to join us for this masterclass.

[00:12:28] In day one, we are cracking the visibility code. We’re going to show you how to showcase your value in a way that feels natural, not pushy.

[00:12:36] We’re going to give you exact strategies that make leaders start mentioning your name in meetings even when you’re not there.

[00:12:44] Long before promotion conversations even begin, you need to be laying this groundwork.

[00:12:50] Day two, we are diving into the advancement conversation. So how to present your case so powerfully that even a skeptical manager will become your advocate. Word for word scripts to overcome common objections you might hear like you’re not ready or maybe next year and turn those into concrete action plans.

[00:13:10] And then day three, we are demystifying the money conversation, how to confidently ask for compensation you deserve, even if talking about money makes you sweat a little. We’re going to show you exactly how to respond when you hear things like. There’s no budget and how to negotiate for things like flexibility and other perks.

[00:13:29] And remember, all you need to do to join is pre order a copy of my new book, Managing Up in any format.

[00:13:36] It can be hardcover, audio, ebook, and from any retailer you like, it is your pick. Then all you need to do is come back to managingup. com. And on that page, you’ll see a simple form. All you need to do is fill out your name, your email, and your confirmation number for your pre order.

[00:13:55] My team will then validate that and we’ll send the master class details over to your inbox. And even better, because you are pre ordering the book now, you’re going to become part of my book insiders community and automatically get access to any future book bonuses we announced before the book comes out this March.

[00:14:15] Now, each session of this Promotion Playbook Masterclass runs for 90 minutes.

[00:14:21] So we’ll be meeting live 12 PM to 1 30 PM Eastern daily between December 4th, 5th, and 6th.

[00:14:30] And this isn’t one of those massive workshops with thousands of participants. We are keeping this group small so you get direct access to both me and my co coach Wendy.

[00:14:41] And don’t worry, even if you can’t make all of the sessions live, you can’t stay for the whole time. That is no problem. You will get all of the replays and recordings so you can rewatch on your own schedule. And remember, this masterclass is only available to those who preorder my new book, Managing Up in any format.

[00:14:59] So head over to managingup. com now, select your preferred format, your preferred retailer, then fill out the form on that page. Once we verify your details, we’ll send over the masterclass information. I can’t wait to see you there. Until next time.

[00:15:15] Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode of psychology at work. If you enjoyed the show, I’d be so grateful if you could take just a minute to rate and review wherever you are listening. It’s how we reach more professionals just like you. And if you’d like to see even more content on how to feel more self assured, grounded, and in control of your emotions and reactions at work, follow me on LinkedIn or head to the links in the show notes.