🚨Get on the free waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader™, Melody’s new program to help you become a crisp, clear, confident communicator. Head to https://speaklikeaseniorleader.com.
You can be highly competent and still not come across that way. You can be clear in your head and still unintentionally confuse, frustrate, or undersell yourself without even realizing it. In this episode, Melody gives you the behind-the-scenes look at how her brand-new program Speak Like a Senior Leader™ came to be and breaks down the 6 subtle communication mistakes that might be keeping you from developing the executive presence and gravitas that makes decision-makers trust you with bigger opportunities.
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There is something you should know about me and that is, I am a Swiftie. And if you are at all familiar with the Eras tour, then you know she starts out the entire show by saying, “it’s been a long time coming.” And that’s exactly how I feel today!
There has been something quietly taking shape behind the scenes for months now. And I finally get to share it with you and bring you behind the scenes.
So here it is. I’m so excited to share with you that doors to my brand-new coaching program, Speak Like a Senior Leader, will be open very soon! You’ll want to head to speaklikeaseniorleader.com now to get on the waitlist. Because if you’re listening to this when it comes out, then this upcoming Monday June 23rd, VIP enrollment opens only to the waitlist for just a few days. It’s totally free to join the waitlist and it’s the ONLY way you can get early access to the limited spots, the founding rate that’s HALF of my usual programs, and over $1000 in bonuses we’re offering.
Today’s episode is going to give you the behind-the-scenes look at how this program came to be and more importantly, I want to break down the 6 subtle communication mistakes I see from directors, senior managers, and VPs that accidentally signal they’re not ready for the next level — even when their results say otherwise.
You can be highly competent and still not come across that way. You can be clear in your head but not in the room. You can have the best intentions — and still unintentionally confuse, frustrate, or undersell yourself without even realizing it.
That disconnect is what Speak Like a Senior Leader™ is built to close.
Now if you’ve been following me for a while, you know I don’t throw new programs out every other week. When I build something, I build it because I’m hearing the same need over and over again from real people like you — professionals who are thoughtful, high-achieving, experienced in their role… and still hitting these invisible walls again and again whether those are internal (within their own minds) or external because of the dynamics around them.
And my team and I, we do not build things in a vacuum either. We pay close attention to data. We review onboarding forms and surveys from clients in our programs, we track what gets the strongest reactions on my podcast and social media. Which episodes get the most downloads? Which posts get saved, shared, or replied to with, “This is exactly what I needed to hear”?
What we started seeing — over and over again — was the content that resonates with you the most is all about how to elevate your communication. But not in the vague, “speak with confidence” kind of way. It was the posts and episodes that got into the real moments you face every day:
How to present your ideas in a meeting without getting talked over.
How to explain a delay in the work without losing credibility.
How to challenge a senior leader’s decision tactfully — and have them actually listen.
How to shift from giving updates to making strategic recommendations that move the business forward.
That’s what grabbed your attention. That’s what made you hit reply and say, “This is exactly what I’m dealing with.” Because you’re not struggling with what to say. You’re struggling with how to structure it, deliver it, and make sure it actually lands with the people who matter.
What really crystallized this for me is that I started getting more messages from listeners and readers who weren’t necessarily struggling with confidence or imposter syndrome as the MAIN thing holding them back. Sure, they knew they had room to grow in terms of belief and conviction — who doesn’t? That wasn’t the root issue. These were people who had been working hard for years. Who were known as the reliable ones. The get-it-done people. They knew they delivered results. They had great performance reviews, hit all the KPIs and OKRs, they had the “great job” emails to back it up. But they were still feeling stuck.
One listener wrote to me and said: “Melody, I’ve been delivering on every project for two years. My team respects me, my results speak for themselves. But I’m still not getting invited to the strategic planning sessions. I found out about a major initiative that directly impacts my department through a Slack message.”
Another said: “I pitch an idea and get met with ten follow-up questions that seem to suggest I haven’t thought things through. Then the project just… dies. And if I see one more email asking me to ‘socialize this more broadly,’ I might lose it.”
And maybe you can relate to this. Maybe you are someone who has the title to prove your expertise — Senior Manager, Director, sometimes even VP or Head of your function. But you’re not being TREATED like someone at that level. And it’s not because you don’t belong there–you do. But it might be because the way you present yourself and articulate yourself doesn’t consistently reflect it. And maybe like them you’re craving better ways to package your thinking, deliver it with structure, and hold your own in rooms full of pressure, politics, and powerful personalities.
You can be hitting every metric, managing million-dollar budgets and big teams. Yet it’s SO frustrating when you see the disconnect happening in real time. I call this the gravitas gap.
Gravitas is when your words carry weight. When people stop what they’re doing to listen, not because you’re the loudest or most dramatic, but because they’ve learned that when you speak, it’s worth paying attention to. You bring something essential to the table. You’re compelling. You bring structure and clarity to ambiguity — when everyone else is spiraling in complexity, you’re the one who says, “Here’s what matters most,” and the room exhales. It’s when your point of view shifts the conversation instead of just adding to the noise.
It’s when you deliver bad news or a tough update, but still walk away with your credibility intact — because you were honest, composed, and solution-oriented.
It’s when you speak to nuance instead of extremes. When you resist the urge to oversimplify, but still make complex thinking accessible and actionable.
Gravitas is when people trust your judgment. Not because you say everything perfectly, but because you consistently demonstrate calm discernment, thoughtful framing, and the courage to say what others won’t — in a way they can hear.
The gravitas gap is that confusing space between your actual capability and how much authority people assign to you. It shows up in those moments when…you give an update in a cross-functional meeting, and people nod — but then someone else rephrases your exact point and that’s what gets traction. It’s like your voice isn’t the one people are tuned into, even though you’re saying something valuable.
You get looped in late — after key decisions have already been made — and are expected to just “make it work.” Even though you’re the one who will have to clean up the consequences.
You may feel the pressure to over-prepare for every interaction — the talking points, the what-ifs, the backup slide deck.
You’ve been told you’re “not quite ready” for that next-level role — but no one can point to a specific skill gap. The feedback is vague: “More presence.” “More polish.”
And that right there — the mismatch between your capability and how you’re perceived and valued — THAT’S the Gravitas Gap.
It’s not fair. But it’s real. And it’s rarely because you’re lacking insight or skills. It’s because your delivery isn’t consistently signaling the right level of clarity and certainty. Your hard earned credibility isn’t convincing and turning into social capital.
Now that you know what the Gravitas Gap is, you might be realizing… you’re living it. But it might not be obvious why you’re landing here.
Let’s acknowledge, sometimes it’s not about you. Sometimes there are real systemic or political barriers that make it harder for your voice to carry. But you’re listening to this show because you’re someone who believes in their agency, who does not want to put their career on hold and wait for the system around them to change. You realize you need to advocate for what you want even in an imperfect workplace with imperfect systems. None of this is meant to minimize the very real barriers many of us face — those are legitimate, and they absolutely matter. At the same time, there ARE many things in our control. Because even when the playing field isn’t level, there are still ways to position yourself more powerfully within the game as it currently exists.
So let’s talk about 6 ways you’re NOT speaking like a senior leader that may be inadvertently landing you or keeping you in the gravitas gap:
Sign #1 you are NOT speaking like a senior leader – you narrate your thought process instead of structuring it. It’s light you’re giving people a real-time tour of how your mind works instead of organizing your ideas for maximum impact. You start with the background because that’s where you started thinking about the problem. You walk through all your analysis because that’s how you built confidence in your conclusion. You present three equally weighted recommendations because you genuinely considered all three.
All that thoroughness — which probably served you incredibly well as you built your expertise — is now working against you. People often can’t follow your train of thought AND you’re asking your audience to do the mental work of figuring out what matters most. You’re making them follow your journey instead of delivering them directly to the destination. When you jump between different levels of detail without signaling the transitions, people get lost. When your points flow together like one long, interconnected stream of consciousness, your audience starts tuning out because they can’t find the structure to hang onto.
Instead of communicating in long, flowing explanations, communicate in headlines. Sign post where you are going. It’s the difference between saying “We’re seeing some challenges with the vendor timeline, and there are also some budget considerations, plus the team has raised some concerns about scope…” OR a senior leader who clearly chunks information: “We have three issues to resolve: timeline, budget, and scope. Here’s how I’m addressing each one.”
Senior leaders understand that clarity is a form of respect. They know that when people can’t easily follow your logic, they start questioning whether there is logic. They begin to wonder if you really understand what you’re talking about, or if you’re just thinking out loud and hoping something coherent emerges. It doesn’t matter if your analysis is brilliant or your conclusions are spot-on. If people have to work too hard to understand what you’re saying or how to follow it, they unconsciously categorize you as someone who’s still figuring things out rather than someone who has figured it out.
Sign #2 you are NOT speaking like a senior leader – you communicate activities instead of outcomes. You’re probably doing incredibly important work, but the way you talk about it makes it sound like you’re just… busy. You say “We’re implementing a new CRM system and the team is getting trained on it.” Or “We’ve been coordinating with three different vendors and working through some technical challenges.” Or “The design team has been iterating on the interface based on user feedback.”All true. All important. But all your audience is hearing is a very detailed to-do list. You’re communicating what you’re doing, not why it matters. That’s a problem. Because when you talk about your work in terms of process instead of impact, people see you as someone who executes — not someone who leads.
Here’s a simple way to think about it: If your executive asks, “How’s the customer retention project going?” and you respond, “We’re analyzing the data and adjusting the workflows,” you sound like someone reporting on tasks. But if you say, “We’re on track to cut churn by 15% — the data shows drop-off is highest around month two, so we’re adding proactive check-ins there,” you sound like someone driving results. That’s elevated. That’s gravitas!
Another way this mistake shows up: you give updates, instead of making recommendations. You report what’s happening and leave it there — which often leaves your c-level thinking, “Okay… and?” For example: “We’re two weeks behind schedule.” That’s an update. But “We’re two weeks behind, so I’m recommending we cut the nice-to-have features to meet our hard deadline” — that’s leadership. That’s what makes you sound like a peer in the room, not someone waiting for permission.
Senior leaders don’t just want to know what’s happening — they want to know what it means, and what you’re proposing to do about it. If you’re not consistently doing that, you leave it to them to fill in the gaps. And often, they’ll fill those gaps with doubt about your strategic thinking.
This is especially frustrating when you are making important decisions behind the scenes — setting priorities, adjusting scope, managing tradeoffs — but the way you talk about the work doesn’t reflect that. It doesn’t sound strategic. It sounds like project management.
This becomes especially painful when you are making decisions — setting priorities, managing trade-offs, mitigating risks — but your communication doesn’t reflect that. It doesn’t sound strategic. It sounds like project management.
And that creates a perception problem.
Not because you lack competence, but because you’re not surfacing your judgment clearly. If people see you as someone who gets things done, they’ll keep handing you execution work. But if they hear someone who interprets the situation, takes a stance, and recommends next steps — that’s when they start seeing you as someone who can shape outcomes, not just implement them.
Sign #3 you are NOT speaking like a senior leader – you answer questions at face value. Or in other words, you respond to what was literally asked instead of responding to the question behind the question.
Did you know you could do that? I know this may blow your mind and it certainly blew my mind when I first realized it.. But you don’t always have to answer exactly what was asked of you or every part of a question. In fact, the best communicators don’t!
Here’s what I mean. Your CEO walks up to you and asks, “How’s the customer project going?” And you — being the thorough, responsible professional you are — start rattling off everything. “Well, we’re at 73% completion on the data analysis, the vendor was two days late with the API integration, we’re expecting the dashboard ready for user testing by Friday, the team’s been working through some segmentation challenges but we think we’ve got a path forward…”
Meanwhile, your CEO is standing there thinking, “I literally just wanted to know if I should be worried about this.”
That’s the question behind the question. They weren’t asking for a comprehensive project status report. They were asking “Is this thing going to blow up on me?” or “Should this be on my radar?” or “Are we going to hit our Q4 numbers?”
So you’re treating every interaction like you’re still in school, where if the teacher asks “What happened in Chapter 7?” you better cover every single plot point or you’re losing points for incomplete answers. You’re answering questions like you’re being graded on thoroughness rather than usefulness.
The best senior level communicators understand that most questions from from their peers and people in authority are really requests for one of three things: reassurance (“Is this under control?”), guidance (“What should I think about this? How should I make sense of this?”), or action (“What do I need to do?”). They’re not typically requests for comprehensive information downloads.
So when your CFO asks about quarterly projections, they’re probably thinking “Do I need to prepare the board for bad news?” not “Please recite every assumption in your financial model.” When your peer asks “What’s the status on the integration?” they’re probably wondering “When can my team start using this thing?”
But you’re over there giving them the literal answer to their literal question, when what they actually needed was the answer to their underlying concern.
You have permission to skip right to what they actually need to know. “We’re on track to hit our goals — I’ll flag it if anything changes.” You can say, “The budget’s solid, no surprises coming.” You can say, “We go live Monday, so your team can start planning around that.”
You also have permission to not answer the question right away — and instead, probe deeper. That doesn’t mean being evasive or dodging. It means slowing down long enough to make sure you’re answering the right question, not just the one that got blurted out in the moment.
Sometimes senior leaders themselves haven’t fully articulated what they’re worried about — they’re reacting in real-time, scanning for risk, trying to move fast. So your job isn’t just to respond. It’s to surface the real issue.
Let’s say someone raises a concern about your timeline and says,
“I’m worried we won’t have enough time for proper testing.”
Your instinct might be to defend the plan:
“Actually, we’ve built in two weeks for QA and historically that’s been sufficient.”
Instead — don’t defend, dig.
Try:
Those kinds of follow-ups do a few important things:
Alright, so far we’ve talked about 3 signs you’re not communicating as a senior leader:
Sign #4 you are NOT communicating like a senior leader – You operate at the wrong altitude for your audience. I think there’s often the assumption that strong communication means being consistent. And to some extent that’s true – but the key is adjusting the level of your message to meet who is in the room. Using different framing and levels of detail depending on the context people have. Think of it like being a pilot. The best senior level communicators know how — and when — to hover up high to show the big picture, and when to dip down low to zoom in on the specifics. But if you’re always flying at one level — either too high or too low — you’re going to lose people.
That’s what it means to operate at the right altitude? Knowing your audience’s vantage point — their priorities, pain points, and level of involvement — and adjusting your message accordingly. You’re not changing your story. You’re changing how you tell it.
To a teammate, you might say: “We’re rebuilding the dashboard using a new data visualization library to fix some display issues.”
To your department head: “We’re improving the dashboard experience so teams can access and interpret key metrics faster.”
To the COO: “This update will reduce reporting delays and improve decision-making speed across functions — which supports our goal of more agile forecasting this quarter.”
Each version is true and accurate, but each one speaks to what that specific audience cares about most.
So don’t make the mistake of communicating from your own perspective rather than translating your message to your audience’s vantage point. When you stay too high, your communication sounds vague or disconnected. You might say something like, “We’re focused on streamlining our operations to increase efficiency,” but your peers are left wondering: What does that actually mean? That sounds like just a bunch of empty buzz words.
When you stay too low, you get stuck in the weeds — and often, that means falling back on internal jargon and acronyms that only make sense to your immediate team. You might walk into a meeting and say, “We’ve cleared the Q3 Jira backlog and we’re still resolving the FF482 deployment blocker in the CI/CD pipeline.” And while you know exactly what that means, your stakeholders are silently wondering, What did they just say? It’s not that your work isn’t important — it’s that you’re speaking a language they don’t understand.
This is especially common in cross-functional meetings, where each person comes in with a different knowledge base. If you assume shared context — or worse, try to prove your expertise by using hyper-specific terms — you risk alienating the very people you need buy-in from
This ability to operate at multiple levels of abstraction — to zoom in and provide operational context when needed, and zoom out to articulate business impact when that’s what matters — is what separates senior leaders from even very competent managers. It’s not about having different information; it’s about having the awareness and skill to translate the same information across different contexts.
Sign #5 you are NOT communicating like a senior leader – you’re abdicating your authority without even realizing it.
This one’s sneaky — and incredibly common especially if you consider yourself a servant leader. You think you’re being polite, respectful, and inclusive. You think you’re opening the door for discussion and showing that you value others’ perspectives. But what you’re actually doing is sidestepping your authority and making decisions sound like group suggestions. And you’re ending conversations without true closure — hoping someone else will take the baton and run with it.
Here’s what it looks like in real life:
You close a presentation by saying, “So… does this make sense?” or “What does everyone think?”
You send an email asking, “Would it be possible to get some additional budget for this?”
You leave a meeting saying, “We’ll circle back next week and see where things stand.”
Notice the pattern?
You’re seeking consensus when the situation calls for direction. You’re softening your stance when clarity is needed. You’re positioning your asks like a favor, instead of stating what the business needs to move forward.
I like to say that any strength taken to an extreme can become a hindrance and this is the perfect example of that. You’re collaborative. You care about buy-in. You want people to feel heard. But the best communications know how to balance inclusivity with decisiveness.
When you’re in the early stages of strategy development, absolutely invite perspectives. Ask open-ended questions. Create space for debate and exploration. But when you’re presenting a recommendation that you’ve been hired to make, when you’re outlining next steps that are within your domain of authority, or when you’re stating what your team needs to succeed — that’s when you need to communicate with appropriate decisiveness.
When you speak like a senior leader, you don’t always ask, “Should we move ahead with this?” You say more often, “Here’s what we’re doing next and when it happens.” You don’t default to saying, “Would you mind reviewing this when you get a chance?” You say, “I need your feedback by Thursday so we can finalize this for Monday’s launch.”
Soft asks, trailing questions, and fuzzy next steps can unintentionally signal that you’re not quite confident in your own judgment. And I know that’s not what you’re going for. And they don’t hide behind non committal committee language like “we should really look into this” or ““The team needs to consider…” when what they really mean is “I’m going to investigate this” or “Sarah will handle the client outreach by Wednesday.”
At your level it’s expected that you are the one who brings clarity to next steps and keeps the conversation moving forward. That’s part of your job — not just to contribute ideas, but to create momentum.
You don’t leave open loops. You set direction, assign responsibility, and make sure things keep moving ahead.
Sign #6 you are NOT communicating like a senior leader – You communicate like things happen to you instead of showing that you’re actively managing outcomes.
Put another way, you’re talk about what’s happening around you — instead of what you’re doing with those circumstances . Let’s look at how this shows up.
You might say, “I found out the board wants a completely new approach to the community engagement strategy.” Or “It turns out our competitor is speaking at the same conference, so now the positioning might feel redundant.” You’re sharing valid updates — but the way you talk about them makes it sound like you’re reporting breaking news that caught you off guard you’re still processing yourself. Which can introduce the question… why didn’t you catch this earlier? And that calls your credibility into question.
Now compare that to a more senior-level approach:
“The board’s shifted direction on community engagement, so I’m reworking our approach to reflect their new priorities — I’ll have two options ready for discussion next week.”
Or: “I flagged the conference overlap early, so I’m adjusting our keynote to highlight what makes our positioning distinct.”
Same circumstances. Different positioning. The second version frames you as someone who is scanning the landscape and steering accordingly — not someone who’s being pushed around or being blindside by events.
It’s not about sounding like you have it all figured out. It’s about showing that you know how to figure it out. That you’re not just noticing challenges — you’re already engaged in managing them. That you’re not waiting for decisions — you’re preparing.
And look, there are going to be moments when things truly take you by surprise. A client goes radio silent. A key partner drops out. A public comment derails your messaging strategy. Senior leaders don’t pretend that doesn’t happen. But they do talk about those moments in terms of what they’re doing next — not just what went wrong.
Okay we talked about the gravitas gap – that hat frustrating space between your actual expertise and the perceived authority. How seriously others take you.
We also covered 6 signs you’re not communicating as a senior leader:
Now, if you’re recognizing yourself in any of these patterns — if you’re seeing how your well-intentioned approach might be inadvertently keeping you in that gravitas gap — the good news is that these are things you can upgrade.
And that’s exactly what Speak Like a Senior Leader™ is designed to do.
This brand-new program gives you my proven tools, tactics, and frameworks to communicate in a way that makes decision-makers trust you with bigger projects and budgets — and yes, give you that nice title and 20-40% salary bump to match.
We are talking weekly live coaching, a tactical curriculum, practice exercises, a live community and much more.
The waitlist is now open. Just head to speaklikeaseniorleader.com. You’re going to want to jump on the waitlist – it’s free and takes two seconds to pop your name and email in there. It;s the only way to get access to the special VIP enrollment offer going out on June 23rd which includes a founding rate that’s HALF of my usual programs, and over $1000 in special bonuses we’re offering.
As always, reach out and let me know what resonated with you from this episode. And I will catch you on the next one!
© 2025 Melody Wilding | Website designed by Blush Cactus Branding + Marketing Studio
You’ve got the brains (obviously). You’ve got skills (in spades). Now let’s get you the confidence and influence to match.