Today, I’m sharing something very special with you. And that is a segment from my recent training that’s already helping thousands of professionals just like you crack the code on working with even the most challenging bosses. And you know what I’m talking about, those moments that Just make you want to bang your head against your desk.

Like when your boss needs to review every single comma in your presentation before it goes out. Or when they keep waffling between three different strategies, leaving you and your team stuck in limbo. Or maybe you have a boss who shoots down every new idea before you can even finish saying it. These patterns aren’t random.

They’re also not personal attacks against you. And most importantly, they’re not impossible to navigate. In fact, once you understand the psychological drivers behind these behaviors, you can adapt your approach in ways that can completely change these challenging relationships. And I’m talking about being able to go from constant friction.

To smooth collaboration from feeling stuck to getting ahead from dreading interactions to navigating them with confidence. Now in my new book, managing up how to get what you need from the people in charge, I break down a simple research back framework for decoding your boss’s personality and working style.

And today I’m going to share with you a bit of that framework straight from a training I recently delivered that was called. Succeed with any boss, even if they’re a micromanager, chronically indecisive, or just don’t seem to like you. So in today’s episode, you’re going to find out how to quickly identify your boss’s core working style, how to understand the hidden motivations, driving their behavior, how to adapt your communication in a way that actually gets.

Through to them and how to get your ideas heard and implemented, even with the most resistant bosses. This framework is just a very, very small piece of what I cover in Managing Up. So if you haven’t pre ordered yet, time is running out. You don’t want to miss the incredible bundle of over $400 dollars worth of bonuses that we’re offering. First, the on demand Pushback and Protect Your Time training.

This is going to help you get two to three hours back every week with word for word scripts to decline, unrealistic deadlines, extra meetings, scope creep, and what to say and do when your boss challenges your boundaries. You’ll also get the Promotion Playbook Masterclass. This is a three part video series that will walk you

step by step. How do you position yourself for advancement? How do you increase your visibility and how do you get the extra compensation that goes along with that? And then finally we have our instant access to the Chapter Cheat Sheets. This is a 10 page implementation guide with ready to use scripts and key concepts from every chapter of the book.

So head to managingup.Com right now, pre order, make sure you fill out the form on the page to get instant access to that bonus bundle now. And with that, let’s dive into the succeed with any boss training. Enjoy. During the last few years, the number of professionals who believe they have little to no control over their careers, their futures, their work relationships, that number has doubled has doubled.

So the result of that is smart, successful, thoughtful people like you. You may find yourself constantly questioning whether to share your thoughts, to stay silent. You may blame yourself for not being good enough. Other people may feel frustrated, sidelined, they’re exhausted by all of the miscommunication, the butting heads that is going on around them.

And many people come to this conclusion. They think my boss is just difficult. And I get it. I completely get how this makes sense, especially when your boss is, always changing priorities. They give you vague direction. They seem impossible to please. It’s very natural to think, well, this is just how they are.

And I have to deal with it. But you need to hear this. Every time you say, well, this is just how things are, I guess I have to deal with it. I have to suck it up. I have to work harder or I have to leave. Every time you tell yourself things like this, you are giving away your power. You are signaling you have no control over the dynamic.

You are letting someone else’s behavior determine your success. Now, I am not excusing poor leadership, not at all. And to be crystal clear, I am not talking about actual toxic behavior. Not talking about bullying, discrimination, bias, abuse. That is real. It is serious. It requires a different conversation entirely.

But what I’m talking about here is about recognizing that while you can’t control your boss’s behavior, you absolutely can learn to navigate it more effectively. Because this is what we have seen coaching hundreds, thousands of professionals over the last decade. Plus the moment you stop focusing on how difficult your bosses and start focusing on how you can strategically influence the relationship.

That’s when things change for you. Because the truth is you can, you can shape the dynamics in your workplace. You can actively teach other people how to treat you by the way you communicate and you present yourself. And here’s the other thing, I’m going to be a little spicy for a moment, that often when someone says, my boss is difficult, sometimes what they’re really saying is, my boss is different than I am.

My boss is more direct than I am. My boss needs more data to make decisions than I do. My boss isn’t open to brainstorming and I want to brainstorm. My boss focuses on details and I would prefer we focused on the big picture. So having a different working style does not necessarily make someone toxic.

Makes them human. So we have to stop jumping to conclusions and assumptions that someone is impossible to work with. When really they process information and they make decisions differently than we do. And, here’s why this is actually all great news. Because what you’re dealing with is a difference in working styles, in communication preferences, in decision making approaches.

And those, those are things that you can navigate. That with some strategic tweaks in how you package information, how you time your conversations, how you present your ideas, you can take those friction points and turn them into opportunities. And again, this is not massive overhauls. We’re talking here about small adjustments that for the most part will take a couple seconds to implement, but can change how your boss receives and responds to you.

And once you master this, this is when work can become more fulfilling, it’s less stressful because things are going easier, and you can finally turn things to be on your own terms. So many of you know, many of you probably don’t know, that I have a background as a therapist. And I also teach human behavior at the graduate level.

And so I am so excited to be sharing this for you because I get to nerd out here. And As I said, this is really a science based framework. I’m going to get into that in a second. But I also deeply believe that when good hearted people are in power, that everyone wins. So all of my work and all of the intention behind this is to help emotionally intelligent people like you actually use those superpowers for the betterment of themselves and the people around them so you can be more successful.

You can be in seats of power where you have more influence. You have the sway to make decisions. You can change unfair policies. You can shape what the future of leadership. looks like how organizations and teams are run. Okay. So I believe that when you, when you play the game, that is how you are able to change the game, but you don’t have to change yourself to play the game.

Okay. So I want to get into this simple step by step process. I talked about for decoding difficult bosses. And also you can use this for coworkers. And I call this the four C’s and you’ll see why in just a second. And this is really going to give you a shortcut to understanding those you work with pretty much every single day without being swamped down in too much complexity, because there’s so much to personal situations. Someone was even mentioning, Alison said in the chat, what if your manager seems to have psychological issues that they are, are unaware of? Yes. we can talk about that afterwards, but people are complex, so I want to give you a bit of a shortcut, the cheat code to understand this better.

So to fully grasp everything we’re going to go over next. You have to know that what studies have found is that there are two primary dimensions that shape people’s personalities, specifically how we communicate and we approach our interactions and our preferences at work.

So one of those dimensions, you can see on the, which, which scales that the Y scale showing my age, I don’t remember this. but you have on one, one part of the scale here, we have dominance. And dominance refers to the degree to which someone attempts to control situations, that they want to assert themselves. how much they want to have influence over the thoughts and actions of other people. That’s what dominance refers to.

Then on the other access, we have sociability. And sociability is how much does that person express emotions? How much do they prioritize relationships and emotional connection with other people? And so when you plot these on a two by two, you get these four squares and you can see that is where the fours C’s come from.

So what I want to do with the rest of our time today is walk you through each one of these styles. So that you can identify their motivations, their fears, their strengths, their weaknesses. And I also want to give you some practical strategies for working with each of these types of bosses successfully without pulling your hair out.

Now, as we go through these, please have your own leader in mind. Think about what category they fall into, but also as you’re going through these descriptions, think about which one you fall into.

All right. One more thing before we dive in. This is an important disclaimer. This is an important mindset shift.

Flex. Don’t fawn. Here’s what I mean. Getting what we mean at work is not about changing who you are. It’s not about just contorting yourself to be like another person. It’s about adapting how you communicate. So this is not about becoming a people pleaser or losing yourself to make others comfortable.

Again, strategic adjustments will get you better results. So a good way to think about this, an analogy is it’s sort of like being bilingual in the workplace. You’re not changing your entire identity. You’re able to switch into a different language that your audience understands best.

So let’s start with our first C. The first C is the commander type. This is someone who is high on dominance and they are low on sociability, right? So when you work for a commander, you typically know where you stand. You typically know what’s expected of you. But commanders, they move quick. They take action so much so that they may seem to steamroll you and other people.

And because they’re lower on that sociability, these are not the people that you’re going to have a heart to heart with. They care much more about what needs to be done, the results, the outcomes. They care much less about how everybody feels about it. They’re not necessarily uncaring, although sometimes they can neglect people’s need for emotional support. But they show commitment through challenging other people, through setting really ambitious targets. And not so much through praise or acknowledgement. So if you work for this type of person, things are going to move fast, work pace is going to move fast, and there’s going to be a consistent effort on forward momentum.

Now, if you relate to the idea of being a Sensitive Striver, often what we see is that working with a commander is usually the most challenging because they’re kind of the polar opposite of you. Because we tend to be more emotionally deep people, we’re highly responsive to other people’s needs. The commander has more of a direct confrontational style that can seem intimidating or it can seem overly harsh and you may be so attuned to what other people feel that it seems strange and it seems disrespectful that this person does not care about other people’s feelings as much.

And it can make it hard for us when we meet someone as straightforward and frankly, sometimes blunt as the commander. Keep in mind any of these styles, as long as they are different from you, it is a chance for you to exercise skills that you just may not be strong at first. So for sensitive strivers, this is our chance to get better at speaking up to get better at being focused on the main goals instead of getting too caught up in the details. So with a commander, here are some things to not take personally. These are to be expected. This person will nitpick your work. They will challenge your ideas. And they don’t do this because they’re necessarily criticizing you. They’re stress testing things. They want to avoid mistakes. They want to make ideas stronger. So you can acknowledge their input without getting defensive and, or refuting it with solid data.

So you can say, you know, I see what you mean about our messaging lacking any urgency. We approached it this way because our survey showed XYZ. \Okay, with the commander, get to the point quickly. This is the type of person where you’re skipping the pleasantries and small talk. They see time as a valuable resource. They don’t want to waste it. So you can show that by expressing a desire for efficiency. You can say, I know you’re busy, so let’s just get right into this or I’ll dive right in. Here are the key points I would like to talk about today.

And don’t be offended if this is the type of person that sends you a one or two word email reply and they don’t ask how your weekend was. This is just how they operate. They’re much more focused on results and moving things forward than they are about the emotions involved in it. The commander also tends to overlook other people’s opinions at times. They often avoid asking for help because one of their biggest fears is appearing incompetent or helpless.

But they do appreciate assertiveness. So it’s important that when you’re dealing with them, you come with a point of view. You use phrases like I believe, or my recommendation is from my perspective, it seems we should based on what I’ve deserved or based on what I have observed, I think it would make sense to do blah, blah, blah.

This person also tends to selectively delegate. They have a high desire for control, so they may rely on a few star players. They overburden some, they underutilize others. And so if this is you, it’s going to be important to come to them and talk about what you want to take ownership of.

All right, more ideas to manage up to a commander.

Get to the point quickly and be concise. So for example, if you’re writing an email to them, clear direct subject lines. Project X, input needed by Friday. Budget approval for Q3. And keep your messages short. Do not bury the lede. Start with what you need from them and end with a strong, just one call to action.

These people like control. And so you’re going to need to provide regular brief project updates, highlighting what progress has been made towards the goal.

And for all of my more, you know, my people that love background and context, this is going to be a shift because with the commander, you will do much better if you avoid kind of a lengthy explanation, excessive context.

You want to end with clear next steps or ask for specific guidance. One point of view. Again, dive straight into your meeting agenda, skip the small talk, anticipate questions they might ask. Again, these are the type of people that naturally try to poke holes on things. And when you bring up your contributions, what you’ve brought to the table, frame it in terms of results, efficiency, effectiveness. Okay. These people also appreciate candor. So if you have feedback for them, bring it up early, keep the conversation focused on the work and the outcomes, not how people feel about a situation, not the operations team felt this was unfair, but this is jeopardizing our timeline. Do you see how the framing is totally different there?

And it can lead someone to respond totally differently. Is this helpful so far? Who thinks they work with a commander? Give me a yes in the chat. Very good. Okay. Yes. I figured this one in particular would resonate with a lot of people. This one, tends to be the most puzzling. Excellent. Glass said I’m married to one. Yes. That’s why we hope this is helpful to you in all domains of life, especially at work though. All right.

The next of our Four C’s is the Cheerleader. Okay. So these people are highly dominant like the commander, but they are high on sociability as well. So these are your upbeat people, people, they have a lot of interests. They’re more expressive. They enjoy sharing stories, feelings. They tend to be optimistic, enthusiastic again, like the commander. Cause they both share high dominance.

They both want to move fast. They both aim high, but they love building relationships. They love playing connector. So this is the type of person who is going to be happy to make introductions for you that expand your own circle. They care a lot about team spirit. They want the environment to be positive and fun for some people though, having that sort of high energy group oriented style can be overwhelming.

I know for me personally, it’s type of personality can be a little bit overwhelming at times. And sometimes the cheerleader. Is so focused on keeping things like hunky dory, everything’s fine. And sometimes they can be so big picture that you may not get the nitty gritty feedback or specific direction you need. Okay. This is great news. If you are actually more thoughtful, more analytical because their enthusiasm, the cheerleaders enthusiasm can pull you out of your comfort zone. This person will be your biggest champion, if you ask them to be. But if you are someone that likes to dive into the details, you tend to be very thorough in your analysis, these people are always three ideas ahead. And as I said, they’re sort of like overly optimistic, everything is wonderful attitude, sometimes it can seem superficial. But the key is to balance their optimism with your thoughtfulness. These people bring the vision, you bring the roadmap to make it happen. Okay, now in terms of what not to take personally with a cheerleader, When they cancel things last minute. Cheerleader bosses tend to do this because they take on too much and they fear disappointing other people who they see as influential. They’re also very motivated by optics and image. So you need to be the one to take the lead to reschedule or else you will be forgotten as they chase other shiny objects.

So you can say, I understand your schedule is tight, so, I’ll grab 20 minutes on your calendar to connect about this unless you let me know otherwise.

This person also tends to change priorities more often. They love to ideate. They want to explore possibilities. Again, that can come off as flighty. Which can be frustrating for some people. So when they think of yet another idea, you gotta steer them back on track. You can say, that is so interesting, you know what, I’m gonna make a note of that, so we don’t lose sight of this, and we can come back to it at a better time. Alright, just parking lot those ideas.

You also may need to be clear about what’s achievable. And tying it back to what they care about, which is team capacity. Right, they also care about timelines, cause they wanna move fast. So to meet our deadlines and keep the quality you’re used to, we should be focused on, on this.

They will give you vague feedback and direction because they’re the big idea, the broad vision person.

They want to inspire and motivate. They’re not so into like the step by step instructions. They assume that you’re going to fill in the details. So when they give you vague feedback, it’s on you to drill deeper. Like, can you share what success looks like for this project? Or provide options for them because they tend to be so high level, sometimes they struggle to come up with specifics on their own. So you may have to say, I want to make sure that this project hits the mark. Here’s a few ideas I’ve come up with. Which one of these do you feel is best?

They also may forget to follow up or follow through. Not because they’re, you know, snubbing you, but their desire to help may outpace their ability to deliver.

So sending them polite reminders is totally fine to say, surfacing this to the top of your inbox, circling back on the resources, any updates, or when, when can we expect those marketing materials. Also sending recaps after a meeting like here’s a quick rundown of what we covered today. You agree to provide this by Wednesday. So there’s more accountability there.

When it comes to other ways to manage up to a cheerleader, put polish on your work, particularly anything that goes to people outside of your team. This person, as I said, cares about image. So they’re going to appreciate that you put effort into helping them maintain that positive reputation.

Use words to match their optimistic mindset. So instead of challenge opportunity, like I see an opportunity to take on whatever, or there’s a lot of exciting potential to capitalize on this new trend, or I think we can accomplish even more if we do this. So that sort of optimistic language appeals to them.

Cheerleaders also thrive on support and other people’s approval. So to drive them towards a decision, you may have to emphasize which direction is most appropriate. popular and who supports it. They want that social proof. So the majority of the team supports option a because of X, Y, Z, or there’s consensus from business development that this is the best way for us to move forward. And they may avoid hard conversations. And if that happens, you want to start and end on a positive note. I really appreciate your support on this and your ability to motivate us and have a vision for us through this tough time has been so valuable. What I think we can do to build on that is. Whatever your suggestion is. And then at the end, thanks so much for chatting about this, I’m really excited about all the steps we put into place and the potential for how this is going to change how we work together. So that optimism at the end matters as well.

Okay. Who thinks they work with a cheerleader? I was seeing some comments in here that, oh my gosh, I think I’m a cheerleader. Who thinks they work with a cheerleader.

Excellent. Very good. Okay. I’m going to keep moving along.

Our next seat, we have Caretakers. So this person high on sociability, low on dominance, right? So these people are the patient peacekeeper. They listen carefully. They make sure everyone feels seen and heard.

They pride themselves on being there for others, being the, the calming force in everything they do. So like the cheerleader, they’re high on sociability. They tend to be more subdued and nurturing because they’re lower on dominance. They want you to feel safe. They want you to voice your struggles and your feelings.

They want you to know they care deeply, but they can be indecisive. Particularly if you work in a really fast pace or an ambiguous environment where quick action taking and risk taking is crucial, this can be, this can slow things down a lot. Plus, if this type of person steps away, they get pulled into other projects, sometimes the team completely comes to a stall because this person has been in the middle of so many things. People are unsure how to move forward without their caretaking and guidance.

So this personality, it’s really driven by the need to create harmony and stability. They want to connect deeply with other people. They want to provide support. They’re innately empathetic. So those of you who are here who are Sensitive Strivers, you may identify with this one a lot, but they can be afraid to change.

they don’t want to let others down, so they’re overly accommodating to the point where they enable bad behavior. They may not let someone go in a timely manner, even though they’re dragging the rest of the team down. They also really don’t like sudden disruptions. They don’t like to be pressured or rushed. They prefer to stay behind the scenes rather than being a public facing role. So with the caretaker, do not take it personally. Especially if this person constantly checks in. It’s not really from a place of wanting to micromanage you from control, but they want to make sure you’re okay. You have all the support you need.

So sometimes they’re helicoptering, or worse, they can make you feel like you need to reassure them and they’re your manager. So you can gently make it clear that you can handle tasks. You’re good without them hovering. You can say, you know, I’ve got this under control. I will definitely let you know if I need any help though, and I really appreciate it.

They also tend to hoard work and stretch projects because they want to protect you. So your boss may believe. I often hear from caretakers that I need to be the air cover for my team, so I need to take on the burden of extra work to safeguard them. And so it’s, again, it’s not necessarily from control because they don’t believe in you, but what you can do is propose a gradual transition because these people need a slow lead up.

So you may say, let me start just handling one piece of this project and then we can go from there. Or you can suggest working side by side, like how about we tag team on this so you can see my approach and you can make sure it’s on track. This person may fail to advocate for you as well. They don’t like confrontation, even if that means standing up for their teams. So you can help them. You can help them build a little bit of a backbone by providing concrete, specific solutions on how they can support you. You can give them wording to make it less daunting. So you can ask for their support. You can say, could you mention this team win at the next leadership meeting?

I think it would be great to get some more visibility for the work and you don’t even have to worry, I drafted some key points that you could share to make it super simple. And this person, again, because they want to keep things calm and stable, they may wait to drop bad news until the 11th hour. And then you’re scrambling. So instead, get ahead of that. Proactively ask for insight on what may be coming down the pike. Are there any developments that we should be aware of? Because it would help us plan now and adjust accordingly. Or knowing about changes ahead of time helps me prepare. So any heads up you can give me would be helpful. All right. Now managing up to a caregiver, more on this. Remember how I told you with the commander dive straight into business, you know, cut out the fluff. It’s kind of the opposite here with the caretaker. You want to segue more softly into work topics. You want a little light conversation. Like how was, how was your trip?

Did you have a good weekend? And then segue into the work because they care about the relationship. Before making a request, provide your context and your rationale. This person wants the fuller picture before they take action or make any decision. So, you might say, before we dive in, let me set the stage for how we got here.

Or, here are some of the key factors that went into my decision. I’d like to give you an overview of my thought process. So this person wants the details. You’re also going to need to introduce ideas earlier than you might with other types of bosses because this person needs time to think things over and with them make suggestions, not assertions and explicitly highlight how what you’re saying will affect other people’s feelings.

So, you might say, the team has been really stretched and it actually seems to be impacting people’s mood. So, maybe we could do this to help us feel more connected. How would you feel about trying that? So it’s not like, we are doing this. It’s more of, here’s a suggestion, let’s partner together on this.

And you’re going to need to emphasize and give them reassurance that you want feedback. They’re going to be hesitant to deliver criticism because they don’t want to demoralize you. So you can say, I really appreciate the supportive environment you created. I feel really safe getting your honest opinion on my performance because I know it’s always coming from a place of helping me grow.

Who, who thinks they work with a caretaker?

I saw a lot of you say, I am the caretaker. Who here thinks they work with a caretaker? Nice. Very good. Okay.

So that brings us to our last C, which is the controller. This person is both low on sociability and low on dominance. This person, I know that sounds like, Oh, that’s, that’s not a good one to be because you’re low on both, but let me give you context for this. So these people, they are meticulous.

You have a high attention to detail. They rely a lot on data. They also prefer to work behind the scenes and they want to keep everything running like clockwork. Their love language is facts, stats, a smooth workflow. They are logical. They’re precise. They tend to be more serious and reserved because they are lower on sociability, they care less about social connection, they care more about optimizing existing standards, following the rules, sticking to the process.

So this can be a dream, if you are someone who loves clear instruction, you want to know exactly what to do next. This person can also come off as rigid and sometimes restrictive, not open minded, especially if you’re working in an environment where you need to pivot quickly or innovation, you need to do that to be a step ahead. So these people, they set clear expectations and they trust you to meet them without their constant oversight. Again, can feel really liberating to some people, two hands off to others. They tend to be very stressed when things are disorganized or there’s unpredictability. They have little patience for communication that doesn’t produce a tangible outcome or actionable results.

Like, why are we here? I don’t know. What are we doing here? They get annoyed very easily. They have a straightforward, no frills communication style. They focus on what matters most. Again, great if you love that, but they can feel cold and distant, especially if you’re someone that wants more of that connection, support, mentoring, camaraderie.

So don’t take it personally if the controller rejects your ideas without really considering them. They tend to see new ideas as risks, and they don’t want mistakes. So you’ll do better if you frame your ideas as enhancements to what you’re already doing, not a net new change. So for example, this idea builds on our current system, or we can take what we’re already doing and make it even better by this.

It’s not just a new idea. Okay. This person also may require multiple approvals or reviews. Not that they don’t trust you, but they believe that having multiple checkpoints means higher quality, means the standards will be met.

So before you start working on something, ask them, what are the key criteria you are looking for in this project? I want to make sure I’m meeting your expectations from the outset.

You can also suggest doing a pre mortem session to catch any issues early. So before I finalize this, can we check in because I want to address any concerns you have proactively before this is set in stone.

They also tend to expect you to be an expert in almost everything. So your boss may overload you with a lot of dense information, complex documentation. Turn it back on them, ask them for guidance on what’s most critical. I really appreciate all the detail here. What would you say are the key points I should be paying attention to, to make sure we’re compliant on this. So you’re going to have to make them prioritize.

This person is also, they may keep their distance more. This value for efficiency over kind of the personal part, it means everyone can be a lot more productive, but not as connected. So this is one of those things that, adjusting your expectations, once you accept that a controller boss is not going to be the person who’s organizing team building or just magically becomes the super caring mentor, you free up a lot of energy to get those needs met through other people.

And with this person, you want to be mindful of how many personal questions you ask. You’re probably going to want to stick more to work related topics. And present things in terms of how they make process, standards, quality better, rather than focusing on feelings, morale.

Managing up to this person. They favor more structure and formality. And so, in both, in all of your interactions, written and verbal, having a preference for structure and professionalism. And you’re going to want to adhere to any systems and processes they have put in place.

They value order and predictability. So even if you think a different report format might look better, show them you are willing to work within their established framework, build that trust, and then you build social capital to expand from there.

With this person, there’s a balance between brevity and completeness. So can use bullet points or numbered lists, make sure you’re covering the necessities without overwhelming them. But you can also provide an appendix or an attachment so that they have the details at their fingertips if they want to dive into them. So you can say like, you know, for data supporting this option, you can see the attached analysis. That allows you to keep your message concise, but gives them the comprehensiveness they may want to dive into.

These people, probably no surprise, they respond well to very evidence based discussions. So you’re going to want to use facts, data, to gain support. And to demonstrate your ability that you can operate independently within theparameters, and the rules they’ve, they’ve set.

And going back to the formality comment, this is the type of person where drop ins, may, rattle them. So scheduling meetings to give feedback, for example, focusing on concrete, observable examples versus your subjective opinion. And like I said before, proposing changes that can easily be integrated into your existing systems.

When this person gets all caught up in the details, because they will, give them specific examples or scenarios that show the human impact of not making a timely decision. So they may overlook the impact on other people. You can help underscore what that is. By, you know, saying our survey showed about a 30 percent increase in team satisfaction when we did this step. See how we’re talking about the human side of that, but it’s couched in team satisfaction and efficiency, right?

There you have it. These are our four C’s. The commander, the cheerleader, the caretaker, the controller. So as we went through these, I want to hear what is the biggest aha you had? And I’m going to scroll through, and see if I can catch some of the questions here.

And I also want to point out, because I think I saw some people mention this. Can I be, can I or my boss be a combination of these? And the answer is yes, this is a helpful shortcut to decoding your boss’s style, but real life is not this cut and dry. People are complex, we’re complicated. We, respond in different situations differently. So it’s really not unusual for someone to embody. An adjacent trait.

It’s common to have someone who may be a commander cheerleader mix or a cheerleader caretaker mix. It’s less common to have someone be a controller cheerleader mix. So go across the matrix like that. Okay, I hope that makes sense.

It’s not impossible, it’s just much less common. Juan was asking, where does the controller, parlance come in if they are low in dominance? Well, it’s because they like processes, they like details, they like things to just be so, and they like to have control of that. So they may not be trying to control. other people, but they want to control the situation and the work.

Yes. Betsy was saying my caretaker boss is micromanaging because she’s trying to show support. Mary said, this helped me realize my own leadership approach and how it may come across to my team. Glad to hear that. Yeah. Aaron was saying this information is not just helpful for your direct boss, but colleagues or skip levels as well. 100%.

Yes. I’m glad you’re seeing it that way. And Amy was saying, I now understand why I kept raising items with my last boss multiple times and she didn’t seem to listen at all.

So I want to hear now, what change can you make based on what you’ve learned today? Even if it’s tiny, even if it’s a tiny little shift.

Kai asked, what would you say is your style of Melody? I’m curious. Interesting. I see myself in all of them. Least the commander, probably. I don’t know. I got asked Wendy and Sarah what they think I am.

But I am probably the controller caretaker combination. I am very rattled by change. I don’t like change. I tried. I try to be understanding and I care about how people feel.

And you know, this is where the flex not fun comes in because in certain situations I have to flex into my cheerleader side and my commander side. I have to be more direct and to the point and no nonsense and like. Let’s just keep things moving and you know, sometimes I have to be like, this is the plan. This is what we’re doing, get people excited about it. I would say right now I’m more in my cheerleader mode because I got to bring a different level of enthusiasm, I may have, if I’m talking to Wendy or Sarah one on one.

And so what I also hope you all see in this is that these are options available to you based on the situation. That, like I said, there may be situations that call for more of a caretaker approach, more of a cheerleader approach, more of a commander approach. And so you’re also kind of getting, options that you can flex into yourself.

And so we covered a lot today and I have a question for you. What if, what if you could subtly. Teach those above you to value your ideas to treat you with respect without ever changing your job title. Is that something you would want? Just give me a plus one in the chat. Is that something you would want?

Because this is not magic. It’s not luck. It’s not just personality, something you’re born with. This is the skill of managing up. And it is one you can absolutely learn with the right tools, the guidance and strategies. And it’s exactly why I wrote my new book, Managing Up, because I was really sick and tired, very frustrated seeing smart, driven people like yourself feel taken advantage of. Even feel powerless to what was happening around them. Or assume that their tendency to overthink an email, that that was a character flaw. And that they were always going to be reactive and at the mercy of the needs and the moods of everyone else around them.

And so if today resonated with you, I really want to encourage you to pre order a copy of Managing Up. You can do that at managingup.com.

And all you have to do, I’m going to talk about the pre order bonuses in a minute, all you have to do is put your details in the form on that page. We’ll validate your pre order purchase. You’ll get an email accessing all of the bonuses.

So this book is your guide to navigating office politics like a pro to building trust and respect with your higher ups and ultimately earning more autonomy and freedom at work. Whether you do feel micromanaged, you feel overlooked, you want more peace of mind. You want to enjoy your job more.

I show you step by step by step exactly how to operate from a position of power with those above you. And what I think, and what I took a lot of care to do in this book was really make it actionable and practical. Because at the end of the day, managing up isn’t really about making your boss’s life easier.

It is about taking control of your own experience at work. So it’s why in this book, you’re going to discover 10 conversations. To go from feeling like you’re at the whim of everything around you to shaping your own work experience to one that’s more fulfilling, more easeful, more on your own terms. And so what we covered today is one piece of this conversation, this styles conversation.

There’s nine others in the book. How do you get in your boss’s head to make sure you’re not spinning your wheels, you’re working on the right thing? How do you give feedback up your chain of command? So your boss actually listens and acts on it? How do you build visibility? How do you talk about your advancement?

How do you set boundaries and push back? How do you talk about money? Those are all very, very specific things. The book is packed, packed with scripts with really specific strategies for you.