Today we’re talking about promotion purgatory—what it is, the signs you’re stuck in it (even if you don’t realize it), why high performers actually get trapped here more often than average employees, and most importantly, how to tell the difference between patiently waiting for the right opportunity and being strung along indefinitely.

Promotion purgatory is that liminal space where you’re perpetually “on track” for advancement, but nothing ever actually happens materializes.

You’re being told you’re doing great. Your manager says you’re “almost there.” You’re getting positive feedback in your reviews. Leadership keeps saying things like “keep doing what you’re doing” and “you’re definitely on our radar, “we’re keeping you in mind.” 

And yet, one quarter turns into two. Two quarters turn into a year. A year turns into eighteen months.

The promotion you were promised—or at least strongly hinted at—remains perpetually just out of reach.

We have seen this pattern over and over when clients come into Speak Like a Senior Leader. These are highly experienced professionals. Some have been in their industry for 10, 15, even 20 years. Many have been at their organization for 3, 5, 7+ years.

They know their stuff. They’re smart. They’re clearly catching the attention of senior leadership enough to be invited to sometimes be invited to important meetings, picked to lead certain projects. 

So if you’ve ever felt that way – and maybe you’re there now – this episode is for you. And I have good news…breaking out of promotion purgatory is often simpler than you might think. Most of the time it doesn’t mean you have to magically… It’s often less about WHAT you are doing and more about HOW you are communicating that and projecting readiness for the next level. 

We are getting ready to open the doors for the next round of Speak Like a Senior Leader soon on December 3rd and I wanted to bring this episode to you now to give you hope that if you are here in promotion purgatory, you are NOT doomed to stay there and breaking out of it  is often simpler than you might think. We have clients in the program right now who have gone from being strung along for YEARS to getting the long awaited call that they’re going from manager to director. Who have been frustrated by projects that seems to be going nowhere to the next week being named defacto lead to own the work and drive it forward. To getting a reclassification of their role that they’ve been dancing around finally moved to the next phase of approval. 

The  last time we opened the doors for SLSL, it sold out in a matter of a day or two, and that’s not an exaggeration.So, If You Want First Dibs Before Everyone Else and the BEST SHOT at one of the LIMITED SPOTS…The best way to lock in your spot early (and get access to surprise bonuses ) is to join me at my LIVE training on December 3rd, Earn Up to $200K more in 2026: 5 steps to SLSL. RSVP at https://melodywilding.com/training or the link in the show notes. We’ll be opening the doors for the program there. 

So let’s unpack promotion purgatory more, starting with signs you are in it and might not even realize it. 

Now, some are obvious and I’ve shared those so far. Things like: your manager keeps saying “soon” but never gives you a concrete timeline. Or you’ve been “ready” for over a year but every performance review doesn’t yield anything. 

But there are often more subtle signs that don’t feel like warning signs at all – and some can even seem positive on the surface, which is what makes them tricky. 

Most people in promotion purgatory think the problem is entirely out of their control. And sometimes, it is. 

But more often than you’d think, promotion purgatory is actually a communication disconnect in disguise.

You’re not packaging your value in a way that makes the promotion decision easy. You’re not solving—or at least not clearly articulating that you’re solving—a pressing business need. You’re not known to the right people in the right way.

And that creates this painful loop where you keep waiting for the organization to recognize your readiness—when what you actually need to do is communicate it differently.

So let’s go through the seven non-obvious signs that you’re in promotion purgatory—and what they’re actually telling you.

Sign #1: The feedback you’re getting is all about intangibles—and you don’t know how to translate them into action.

Your manager tells you: “You need to work on your executive presence.”

Or: “We need to see you elevate your influence.”

Or: “You need to demonstrate more strategic thinking.”

This feedback feels vague because it is vague.

The people evaluating you—your manager, their manager, senior leadership—they know what they’re looking for when they see it, but they can’t articulate how to teach it to you.

They know they need to be able to put you in front of a major client and trust that you’ll convince them to renew or expand the contract.

They know they need you to navigate a conflict between two cross-functional partners and do it with diplomacy and a level head.

They know they need you to walk into a room with the C-suite and hold your own.

They know the end result they want. But they don’t know the recipe to get you there since when you reach a certain level, executive communication becomes second nature.

It’s what you do every day. It’s intuitive.

Which means senior leaders often can’t break it down into minute steps or frameworks because they’re not consciously thinking about it anymore.

They don’t realize that when they present to the board, they’re structuring their message in a specific way.

They don’t notice that when they’re in a tense meeting, they’re using particular language patterns to de-escalate.

They can’t deconstruct it for you. And frankly? They don’t want to have to hand-hold you through it.

So try to be more confident. Whatever that means. You try to speak up more. You try to “think bigger.”But without a framework for what executive-level communication actually looks like—how to structure it, how to deliver it, what to emphasize and what to leave out—you’re shooting in the dark.

Sign #2: You’re told “it’s not about you, it’s about the business”

Your manager says: “You’re absolutely ready. This is just about budget constraints right now.”

Or: “It’s not a reflection of your performance—we’re just in a hiring freeze.”

Or: “Leadership loves you. We’re just waiting for headcount to open up.”

And on the surface, this sounds like it’s out of your control. And again, sometimes there are true financial or political blockers. 

But many times you’re hearing this because you’re not solving a problem that’s urgent enough to make leadership override those constraints. When someone is solving a truly critical business need, organizations find budget. They make exceptions to hiring freezes. They get creative.

If you were positioned as the solution to a problem that’s keeping executives up at night, they’d make it happen.

But if you’re positioned as “someone who is a hard workers” you’re not creating urgency, you haven’t communicated a compelling business case. You are not articulating what you can offer in terms of business need.They don’t understand what’s at stake if the problems you’ll be responsible for at the next level don’t get solved.

Sign #3: Your manager says “I think you’re ready, but we need to make sure leadership agrees” 

this usually means one of two things:

First possibility: Your manager doesn’t have the talking points to advocate for you effectively.

They believe you’re ready, but when they go into those closed-door conversations with their leadership, it slips their mind or they do a bad job making an argument on your behalf. 

Second possibility: You’re not visible enough to the decision-makers.The people who ultimately approve your promotion don’t actually know what you do… and maybe don’t even have a good sense of who you are.  So when your manager brings up your promotion, leadership’s response is essentially: “Who? What do they do again?”

Sign #4: You’re getting more visible—but not more influential.

Your manager is pulling you into higher-level meetings. You’re presenting to senior leadership. You’re getting exposure to executives. This feels like progress.

But  your contributions in those rooms don’t seem to carry weight.

You present, but executives don’t act on your recommendations.

You share insights, but they don’t shift the conversation.

You ask questions and they’re glossed over or given a cursory answer. 

Now, if you’re listening to this and having a lightbulb moment—if you’re recognizing yourself in one or more of these signs—that’s actually a great thing. Most people stay in promotion purgatory for YEARS because they don’t even realize they’re in it. They think they’re being patient and paying their dues and advancement is just around the corner. But YOU are seeing things more clearly now and that’s valuable so that you don’t continue to spin your wheels 

But what matters even more is what you do with this insight. I’ve seen people get the wake up call they’re in this limbo and then make critical mistakes that keep land them even deeper in stress and frustration. They understand the problem. But then they go down the wrong path trying to fix it.So I want to share these missteps with you because avoiding these can save you months—if not years—of trial and error.

And look, if you’re listening to this show, I know a few things about you.

I know you have a lot of value to offer. You have expertise that could help your team, your clients, your customers, the people you serve.

You know you’re capable of more. You know you could make a bigger impact if you were operating at the next level.

And if you’re stuck in this limbo, it’s not just hurting you. It’s hurting them too.

So here’s what you’re NOT going to do when you find yourself in promotion purgatory. 

You are NOT going to work harder to keep proving yourself and keep taking on more and more to show your readiness. 

This is the most instinctive response when you feel like you’re not being recognized.

If they don’t see my value yet, I just need to do more. I need to make it impossible to ignore me.

So you volunteer for the extra project. You take on the stretch assignment. You work nights and weekends. You expand your scope. You deliver exceptional results—again and again.

And here’s the cruel irony is that this digs you into a deeper hole. Because now you’ve made yourself even more indispensable in your current role.

You’re the person who always says yes. You’re the person who can fix everything and knows the systems inside and out. You’re the person leadership knows they can rely on when things get chaotic and they need a reliable workhorse. 

Why would they promote you? You’re too valuable exactly where you are. And counterintuitively, high performers fall into this trap far more often than average employees.

Think about it from leadership’s perspective. Average employees aren’t carrying critical work that keeps the organization running. They’re not the linchpin holding three major initiatives together. They’re not the go-to person when something urgent comes up.

Average employees can sometimes be easier to move because there’s less disruption associated with backfilling them.

But you? You’ve made yourself so essential that promoting you creates a massive problem

Leadership would have to find someone to replace you—someone who can handle your workload and maintain the quality you’ve established.

They’d have to redistribute your responsibilities. They’d have to risk disrupting projects that are already in motion.

They’d have to navigate a transition period where things might slip through the cracks.

So instead of dealing with all that complexity or telling themselves that they need to create a plan to figure it out… they keep you exactly where you are—and keep you placated with vague promises of “soon.” Maybe not maliciously, but because it feels too big to deal with alongside the other fires they have to put out. 

So you need to get out of this bind, you need to demonstrate – to communicate – a few things. First, that promoting you isn’t a risk to the business, but actually the smart thing to do. 

Second, that you’ve already created systems, processes, or developed people so your current work can continue without you being the single point of failure.

And third—this is critical—that you’re already operating at the next level in terms of how you think about and communicate your work.

You probably don’t need to be doing MORE work to show these things. You need to get better at packaging and communicating the actual end result of what you’re already doing.

Think about all the behind-the-scenes work you do that nobody sees. That has big downstream effects on your team, your cross functional partners, your clients and customers, the company’s standing and reputation in the market. 

But if you’re heads down every day, moving from one thing to the next, you’re probably not bringing any attention to this impact. You’re moving on to the next thing.Or when you do speak up and try to communicate your value, you get entirely lost in the execution and the minutiae. You need to stop letting your work speak for itself and start speaking for it in a way that positions you as operating at the next level already.

To get out promotion purgatory you’re also NOT going to hit your decision makers over the head with more information.  I’m talking to all my data and analytics lovers out there. 

You think: If I can just show them the numbers—the metrics, the ROI, the comprehensive analysis of everything I’ve been working on—they’ll see that I’m ready. They WANT and need someone like me at a higher level. 

So you build the 30-slide presentation. You create dashboards with all your KPIs tracked over time. You prepare exhaustive status updates that leave no stone unturned. And then you’re genuinely confused when they seem… less impressed than you expected. 

You are drowning them in data. When you hit them with deluge, they have no idea what they should be taking from this. What’s the narrative? What’s the key point? What decision needs to be made? There’s no meaning. Just a bunch of numbers and tables.

That’s a skill—sense-making. Taking complex information and synthesizing it into a clear story with a point of view.

It requires confidence to look at all that data and say: “Here’s what this means. Here’s what I recommend. Here’s why.”

But instead, most people default to data dumping.

They present all the information, say “here you go,” and essentially run away, leaving leadership to connect the dots – which makes them frustrated, or they may draw the wrong conclusion. 

And when you do that, you’re engaging with them as a subordinate, not as a peer.

You’re positioning yourself as someone who collects and presents information—not someone who can assess a situation, diagnose what’s happening, and make a recommendation.

More metrics, more information does NOT equal more credibility. In fact, it usually only reinforces that you’re stuck in the weeds. 

You might think… “Maybe I need to ‘play the part.’ I should be like that colleague who schmoozes and kisses up to the execs.”

Once again, bad idea if you’re trying to get out of promotion purgatory. And i get it! It’s hard to look around and see less qualified people getting promoted.  So you force yourself to schmooze at the happy hour even though you’d rather go home. You compliment your boss’s ideas even when you fundamentally disagree. You start name-dropping and making sure you’re seen in the right rooms with the right people.

You can only keep up a facade for so long. Eventually, the mask slips. Eventually, you burn out from trying to be someone you’re not. 

There is a massive difference between true influence and ingratiating yourself. Yes, relationships matter. Yes, visibility matters. Yes, understanding organizational politics matters… A LOT. You don’t need to flatter people, to laugh at their bad jokes, to suffer through lunches you don’t want to be at.

Do you want to know what actually builds the kind of relationships that lead to promotion? being someone executives can trust to tell them the truth.

And I know that sounds counterintuitive—shouldn’t you be agreeable? Shouldn’t you be likeable?

Yes. But likability doesn’t come from never disagreeing. It comes from HOW you disagree.

Think about it: when you’re a yes-person who never pushes back, executives don’t trust your judgment. They think you’re either spineless or you’re telling them what they want to hear.

The people who actually get promoted are the ones who can disagree diplomatically. They can do it with curiosity. 

Or they can push back on unrealistic demands without being defensive.They negotiate from a place of wanting to deliver excellence and do what;s best for the work. 

This kind of candor builds respect. Because executives are surrounded by people who tell them what they want to hear. They get less and less real input the higher they climb.

So when they find someone who will tell them the truth diplomatically, who has their best interests at heart and won’t blow smoke, who cares enough to push back when something doesn’t make sense—that person becomes invaluable and someone they want closer. 

Now you might hear all of this and think, why should I just leave? You could, and many times that is 100% the right decision, especially if you’ve tried everything. But take my word for it– you will repeat what you won’t repair. That means, you might find yourself a few years down the road in the same exact situation you are right now. You may land right back in promotion purgatory at your next company. Because if you have a skills gap, no amount of job hopping will make it better. 

You need to close that communication gap– between your talent and how you’re perceived. Only then can you decide whether to stay or go from a position of strength. 

If you’re done hanging out in promotion purgatory, then you have to join us inside Speak Like a Senior Leader. This is my best-selling coaching program that gives you a highly tactical system to become a crisp, concise, and confident executive level communicator. We teach you everything from how to think on your feet when an executive puts you on the spot in a meeting without fumbling or freezing up, to holding your own with dominant communicators who try to talk over you or dismiss your ideas, to tying everything you do back to business results in simple, specific ways—without forcing it or sounding like a corporate drone. 

You’ll learn how to structure presentations that get executives to actually listen and act, how to give tough feedback up the chain of command and BUILD relationships. 

These skills are the difference between staying stuck in the “doer” role vs. becoming the go-to voice for decisions that matter. Between being passed over for bigger, better (and higher paying opportunities) vs. being handpicked for them. 

The next round of the program starts in January but doors for enrollment very soon on December 3rd only for about a week. Because, here’s the deal: last time we opened the doors, it sold out in a matter of a day or two, and that’s not an exaggeration.So, If You Want First Dibs Before Everyone Else and the BEST SHOT at one of the LIMITED SPOTS…The best way to lock in your spot early (and get access to surprise bonuses ) is to join me at my LIVE training on December 3rd, Earn Up to $200K more in 2026: 5 steps to SLSL. RSVP at https://melodywilding.com/training or the link in the show notes. We’ll be opening the doors for the program there. And whether or not you join us in the Speak Like a Senior Leader you’ll want to be at that free class because I’m giving you the roadmap and small tweaks you can make today to start earning the respect and recognition you deserve. I can’t wait to see you there and I’ll catch you on the next episode.