Melody Wilding: Karla, so excited to have this conversation with you today. Thank you for joining me.

Karla Balcita: Thanks for having me, Melody.

Melody Wilding: Yes, we are going to dig into your experience, your results inside of Speak, like a senior leader. Let’s start at the top, though. You have had a long career. What made you say or what was happening for you that made you think, okay, now is the time that I need to start working on my communication, my confidence.

Karla Balcita: Yeah. I’ve been at my current company for 22 years. And I’ve done a lot of growing within that time and I’ve worked my way up the ladder, but I’ve gotten to a point in my career where I haven’t moved in that hierarchy essentially. And so I’ve been in the same role for the past 10 years or so, while I’m still learning, which is great, like I haven’t been able to break that ceiling from where I’m at right now. And I think it’s something that we talk about a lot in the program, which is like the thing that’s gotten you here has worked well for you up to this point, but you reach a point where that doesn’t work anymore.

Karla Balcita: So I needed to figure out what is it that I need to change about myself to gain that confidence so that I can try to get to the next level.

Melody Wilding: Hmm. What did you feel was capping you or missing in particular when it came to your communication, how you were articulating or presenting yourself? What did you feel was off or standing in your way?

Karla Balcita: Yeah, I think that there’s times where I didn’t have enough confidence in myself, and I would hide behind my manager in a lot of ways and like always seek permission from my manager. Like, is this how I should deal with this? Is this what I should do? Is this what I should say?

Karla Balcita: Who should I go to? Instead of just making those judgment calls on my own, which would indicate that I’m ready for the next level and I’m operating at the next level. So what I needed to do is figure out how to get that confidence to know that I can trust my own abilities and instead of going to my manager with how should I handle this situation to instead think about how I want to handle that situation and then get their buy-in if I need to, essentially.

Melody Wilding: Yeah. And what was the biggest challenge for you? Because it sounds like you had awareness around what some of that issue was, as you were saying, going to your manager, the permission seeking. But what were some of the struggles closing that gap to actually sound more executive?

Karla Balcita: I feel like I’m still a work in progress with this. Like I’m definitely still working on it and figuring out what are the best ways to close that gap and to sound more executive. And of course I’m still going through the Speak program, which I’m so happy to be there and going through it because I’m learning a lot of really valuable tools to use and different ways to communicate. I think one of the things we’ve gone through the S and the P portion so far and learning the different types of styles and I’ve learned things like DISC in the past and that sort of thing, but I’ve never connected the dots in terms of yes, you can know people’s different styles, but knowing how to speak to them and communicate with them in a way that resonates is a whole different story.

Karla Balcita: And so learning how to do that based on that style, and I work with a lot of commanders in my company, it’s like really valuable to be able to pivot and say, okay, now I know how to speak to this type of person in a way that resonates with them, and it’s gonna instill that confidence in me by them so that they know that I have a handle on what they’re asking for or what I need to do for them.

Melody Wilding: Yes. And sometimes it’s just that power of framing, right? Using slightly different terminology to get through to someone, whereas before you may have been talking at them, and I know something that you mentioned. I went back to your onboarding forum for the program. And let me say also, you’re still barely halfway through the program as we’re recording this conversation.

Melody Wilding: So everything we’re going to talk about today, as you said, you’re still early days, but you already have been able to accomplish so much, which is why I wanted to talk with you. And one of those things that you mentioned is that you had a C-suite executive that you don’t report to who reached out to you and offered you a high visibility opportunity, which is amazing.

Melody Wilding: Congrats. So tell us how that came about.

Karla Balcita: Yeah. Well, thank you. First of all, it wasn’t necessarily like a promotion type role, but it was definitely like an elevated type of role that he was giving me, if I wanted to be a part of, essentially. I work with him tangentially and like there’s a leadership meeting that we have periodically where I do lead that conversation and on a specific platform that we’re working together on.

Karla Balcita: And so we do have interface time and so he has seen how I work. But what’s interesting about that is that in my mind, I always thought he didn’t like me that much, just based on interactions that I’ve had, like different ways that he’s responded to me. But I think that goes back to what we talk about.

Karla Balcita: It’s like the stories that we tell ourselves and these negative thought spirals that we take ourselves down — it’s not always what we think it is. And it’s something I’ve learned in your programs about how to get yourself out of those negative spirals and different ways to reframe situations and how you can look at it from a totally different perspective and other ways to think about it. So I think that’s been super helpful in those types of situations to not let yourself get stuck in that, oh, this person thinks this way of me because I’m making up this story in my head and then your imposter syndrome comes in and all that stuff.

Karla Balcita: I just thought that that was very interesting. That came to light, especially given that I had that thought about him and his perspective on me and to find out actually he really enjoys working with me and appreciates my working style. Was incredibly validating.

Melody Wilding: Hmm. Yeah. And that’s such a good point because there’s so much that happens upstream. We tend to fixate on the words that we say, and how do I phrase this and what do I say? But there’s so much that happens upstream even getting to that point, as you were saying, having the confidence to think that you belong in that room or in that conversation, does this person like me, do they respect me?

Melody Wilding: And all of that affects, it trickles down into how you are conducting yourself and holding yourself with them. And the confidence that you’re able to project through your words or not. It becomes, it can become a self-reinforcing cycle in a good way or a bad way. And so it is fantastic and so insightful that you were able to catch that upstream and adjust that.

Melody Wilding: What did this person say about why they chose you and why they wanted to work with you on this?

Karla Balcita: Yeah, he really just said that he appreciates my working style and enjoys working with me and appreciates my follow through. I think that just by also learning the tools in this program and going back to what we just talked about in terms of like how to speak to the different types of styles, I’ve been using that in those meetings and those conversations.

Karla Balcita: And I think that he leans more commander, but he’s also a little bit controller, I think too. And so like giving the details in addition to the bottom line — this is where we’re at, but here’s all the details as well. I think he really appreciated that.

Melody Wilding: Yes. Yeah. And the terminology you’re using for anyone listening — that’s that model of the four Cs, which are the four communication styles that we use in the program. A commander, someone who is very dominant, they tend to be a bit more hard charging, very results oriented, and a controller would be in an adjacent style where they’re really concerned about logic and methodology and accuracy. And you can be a combination of those things, but it is those just slight modifications. You keep the core content of your message the same, but the way you shine a different light on it. So that person knows that you get them, what their concerns are, and you say it in a language that they can understand.

Melody Wilding: Instead of leading with — like for a commander, controller, you don’t want to be the one to lead with, well, here’s how everyone on the team feels about this situation. They’re going to say, I don’t care how everybody feels. This is the route we have to follow and we need to move quickly to get there. But when you can say, here’s the steps we are going to follow, and at the end of the day we expect these results, does that sound good to you? I can execute on this. Right. It totally changes the speed at which you can get a yes, you can get buy-in, that they trust you and come back to you with other things as you have found. Yeah.

Karla Balcita: Yeah, absolutely.

Melody Wilding: Yep.

Melody Wilding: Another situation you shared is you led a big cross team meeting for a platform initiative that you’re working on, and someone came to you with some unsolicited feedback in a good way. Someone at the EVP level. What happened there?

Karla Balcita: Yeah, I think in general this was like a meeting that had been needed for so long because we are working on this really high impact initiative. And there’s a lot of moving pieces and a lot of different teams that have owned different pieces of it, and there’s a lot of dependencies across those teams as well. And so this particular meeting was to bring all the representatives from across all the different teams together to talk about our dependencies and make sure that we’re all on track. We need this by X date. I’m gonna have this to you by X date. Are there any blockers? Are there any issues that we need to discuss?

Karla Balcita: And we have that forum to do that. Going into that particular meeting, my team itself had a process already in place, which we proposed to put forward for this cross team initiative as well, and that was accepted by executive leadership. And so putting that into place, I knew that I had to make sure everybody was on the same page going into that conversation, going into that meeting. And I had to work in the background to do all the pre-wiring, which we talk about in the Speak program as well. Doing the quiet work in the background to make sure everybody’s on the same page. Everybody’s clear on the expectations going in. This is what we, this is the information we need, making sure everybody’s ready to have the answers to the questions that may come up, and that sort of thing.

Karla Balcita: And so I did all that across all the various teams to make sure that the meeting was set up for success. And going into that conversation, we had a very productive conversation because everybody knew what the expectations were and we were able to have a productive conversation and it was action oriented and we came out with a lot of great next steps.

Karla Balcita: And yeah, that EVP had reached out and said, this is great. This is something we’ve needed for a really long time. And yeah, that went really well.

Melody Wilding: Hmm. How did it feel to get that unsolicited praise?

Karla Balcita: It felt good. Yeah, it of course felt nice. I think sometimes we get caught up — in companies people get caught up in all the negative, right, and they focus only on the negative. And so to hear positive feedback is very rewarding and it’s motivating as well. So it was really nice to receive that.

Melody Wilding: Yes. Yeah. And you were talking about how something you did differently was some of that pre-wiring, which you’re exactly right, is a process we teach in the program. And I want to underscore the idea for anyone listening that your success in a meeting or an important presentation like that, it’s not just dependent on what you do in that moment, because so many of us put pressure on saying the right thing. Did I include the right slides? Did I ask the right questions? Did I leave enough time for discussion? We get so preoccupied with that, not realizing all of this, the rest of the ecosystem operating around it. Right. Did I surface objections? Because I’m sure you have seen this so many times where someone — you don’t do that in advance and then someone out of left field drops a bomb on your project that you’re like, I didn’t even know that was an issue for you. And now they’ve thrown a wrench in the whole thing.

Melody Wilding: And so being able to surface that, make sure you have allies who can sing the praises of whatever your idea you are pitching. All of that just makes your performance in that moment so much easier and so much stronger. But you know, for anyone listening, I want them to take away that even if that one moment where you are in the meeting, you don’t feel like you’re at your best, there are always other options, right? It’s not always lost because you don’t feel like you are a hundred percent in that moment, and I think that’s a great example of that. Is there anything else with that meeting or how you’re approaching other presentations that you feel you’re doing differently now in getting better results than you may have six months ago?

Karla Balcita: Yeah, I think that I get nervous going into presentations and talking to executive leadership and that sort of thing. And so I’ve learned through the program how to regulate my emotions more as well. And my favorite one is the drinking ice water. In fact, I have a glass of ice water here right now.

Melody Wilding: Classic. Classic. Love it.

Karla Balcita: Yeah. So yeah, just like trying to find ways to bring my logical thinking back online so that I can lean back into my skills and my knowledge and operate from there instead of the fight or flight reaction that I am feeling in my body, and knowing that it’s just my body’s response to a high pressure situation. It’s simply data that I can acknowledge and learn how to accommodate based on using different tools to bring that logical thinking back online. And I think that that has definitely helped me be more present in those meetings so that I can have a more productive conversation and sound more senior than I may otherwise.

Melody Wilding: You have to manage your physiology before you manage your psychology.

Karla Balcita: Yeah.

Melody Wilding: And what I also hear you saying is you’re acclimatizing, you’re adjusting to operating under higher amounts of pressure or in some of these higher visibility moments, which it’s all about expanding that capacity too, where I’m sure you’re doing things now that maybe you of a year or two ago couldn’t imagine, which is amazing to just gradually be expanding that zone of not necessarily comfort, but that stretch zone where you feel you can perform more. Yeah. Yeah. So speaking of which, it sounds like now you have multiple senior leaders creating opportunities for you, which is amazing. What does it feel like to have gone from a place of, earlier you were talking about permission seeking, to now being the one who is being sought out.

Karla Balcita: Yeah. It’s very validating to know that the work that I do is being seen and is appreciated. And so that has really motivated me. At the same time, since that has happened, some time has passed, and of course, during that period, imposter syndrome starts to creep back in.

Melody Wilding: Yeah.

Karla Balcita: Yeah. We learn ways in the program how to manage that imposter syndrome. And I have personified my inner critic — her name is Miranda Priestly. But I try to recognize when that’s happening. But there’s — it’s not something that necessarily you can cure a hundred percent.

Karla Balcita: You just need to learn how to manage it. And things have evolved and some time has evolved and I still hang on to, or I still reflect on the fact that I’ve been given those opportunities and appreciate that. And recognize that in terms of validation of my abilities and trying to not let the imposter syndrome take over as things evolve in corporate, like things take time as well.

Melody Wilding: Yeah.

Karla Balcita: So it’s not like this magic wand and all of a sudden I’m at this level and I’m now doing this thing. It’s not that fairytale. But yeah, just learning how to moderate my inner critic essentially and lean into the wins.

Melody Wilding: Yeah. And it will rear its head more as you do stretch and you do take on new things, right? It’s kind of that idea of new level, same devil just in different clothes where sometimes those insecurities we maybe had at a different point, they come back in a slightly different form, but in a way that can be a signal that you are stepping up into bigger things, which yes, it is completely normal that all of that is coming up.

Melody Wilding: Another area you wanted to focus on was managing up. How are you approaching that differently now, and how is your relationship with your boss changing?

Karla Balcita: In terms of managing up, I’m trying to not work quietly in the background. I’m making my work more visible and I’m communicating more frequently as well, so that my boss has confidence that I am working on it. And I think this is something we talked a lot about in the program as well.

Karla Balcita: We tend to go off in our corner and do our thing. And I said I would get it done and I’ll get it done and I will get it done. I always do deliver. But I also liken this to my son learning at school. Like he doesn’t, if he’s doing like math homework, he won’t get full credit for that homework, even if he has the right answer, if he’s not showing his work.

Karla Balcita: And I think it’s the same thing in our jobs too, like we have to show that we’re doing the work and not just delivering the end result. And so I’ve been doing that a lot more, making it visible, the steps along the way, reporting up to my manager where we’re at, what the status is, and then asking for his buy-in when I need to. And I think that that’s been really helpful in transforming that relationship with him as well.

Melody Wilding: Hmm, that’s a fine line to walk. As you were talking it struck me in terms of showing your thinking. Yes. Right. We have to show our rationale and our ability to think about strategy in the bigger picture, and at the same time not fall into over-explaining or belaboring a certain point, which — how have you found that balance or maybe catching yourself where before you may have fallen into overthinking or over explaining.

Karla Balcita: Again, I’m definitely still a work in progress and I do tend to correct myself or realize that I’ve done something that like, oh shoot, I shouldn’t have done that. Try to remember not to do that again next time. But yeah, trying to figure out the right balance of the appropriate level of information that’s needed by not giving too much detail or giving at least enough detail.

Karla Balcita: And if they want more, or if my manager wants more, he can ask for it and I’ll have it. So just having that available but trying to train myself to operate at that level and allowing him to dig in further if he needs to.

Melody Wilding: Yeah. Yeah. And in the program, one thing we say often is we don’t just want to help you speak like a senior leader. We want to train you to think like a senior leader. And so even the things you’re mentioning around deciding what do I include or not include, right. We do a lot around giving you guidance around these are the things that your executive is probably looking for, so these are the things you should be incorporating.

Melody Wilding: And the question behind the question, you want to make sure you’re answering so they feel like you’re reading their mind in a good way. And I think that is essential to knowing, okay, what’s the 80/20 here of what I need to mention versus what I can leave out? And then they can engage with me more deeply if they need that.

Melody Wilding: Yeah. Pushback. Let’s talk about that very quickly, because you are in a type of role where you work very cross-functionally. You are trying to push change through to get people to adapt to and adopt new platforms and ways of working. How do you handle it now when a leader pushes back on you or you need to push back on them, rather — how are you handling it when you need to say, no, we need to prioritize here, I disagree with that. What does that look like? And I fully understand like this is a work in progress. Some days are much better than others, some situations are easier than others, but what’s evolving for you in that way?

Karla Balcita: Yeah. I think that when that happens, like then again, going back to what I was saying earlier, like the panic fight or flight mode initially. And depending on the form, of course, if it’s via email, then I can take a beat and not react immediately. I think in the past I’ve done that where I would react immediately or go directly into execute mode and instead of taking the time to think about what’s the message behind this question or whatever’s being said here, what do I really need to get down to and better understand in order to respond in an appropriate way? And so taking that time to regroup myself, really think about the situation and what is needed in that situation, whether it be pushback or just a general question, then coming back with a more fully processed thought versus reacting. And I think reacting, just getting out of the reactionary mode is like the key thing in terms of how to push back effectively. Because if I’m just reacting, then I’m not being effective.

Karla Balcita: So just thinking through what is being said in order to appropriately respond has been I think the best way to handle that. And again, yes, it’s a work in progress, trying to do that more often than not.

Melody Wilding: Yeah. Yeah. And it is, it becomes a senior level skill at your level, right? Because it happens so much more, so much more often. And so being able to walk that line of respectfully saying we can’t do that or I don’t agree. Saving face. Right. But still getting your point across. And something else I hear underlying a lot of what you’re saying is recognizing what you need to be at your best in order to have presence in the moment and being thoughtful and engineering that more into how you are approaching these situations. And in the program, yes, we give you structures for how do you buy yourself time or how do you say, I need some time to loop back with the team about this or to think about this without looking like you don’t know what you’re doing and you’re stalling, but what I hear really is you — it sounds like you have more confidence in this is my style. And being able to represent that or share that with other people while still getting the results you need to. Yeah.

Karla Balcita: Yeah, absolutely.

Melody Wilding: Yeah.

Karla Balcita: You actually triggered something when you were talking just now. The other thing that we learned in the program too is giving options.

Melody Wilding: Hmm.

Karla Balcita: They’re pushing back on something and they don’t like something, then I can also default back to — we have these two options that we can go this path or we can go this path. And just being matter of fact about it and not letting the emotionality get, take control of that and take it personally. Because it’s not personal. It’s about what’s the best way to get something done potentially. And so providing those options and responding in that way is also really helpful.

Melody Wilding: Yes. Yes. And speaking of which, are there any other results you have seen, whether they’re very tangible and obvious, or they’re more subtle and understated things that are telling you, you are starting to be perceived differently.

Karla Balcita: Yeah, I guess one specific thing that came up recently is we went through, as I think most people have gone through, like the employee reviews, and through that we have a 360 process where you can seek input from other people that are not your direct manager essentially. And in the past, I haven’t gotten a lot of those 360s, and recently, the last round I got 15 — more than I would like for sure, because it takes time to answer all those.

Karla Balcita: And I always wanna make sure that I’m giving valuable feedback if it’s valuable to people. But I think that that’s one way I do feel like I’m being sought out more for my counsel and my opinion on things. And just seeing that people respect me in that way.

Melody Wilding: Huge. Huge. Yeah. Like you were saying, it is wonderful to be that person. Your opinion matters. It carries weight clearly that people wanna know what you think about them because you do have influence. So I love that. Is there anything else that comes to mind?

Karla Balcita: I guess just other than being offered opportunities, I guess that would be another thing that would come to mind as far as that goes. Just knowing that I’m top of mind in senior leaders’ minds for potentially filling transformation roles or anything along those lines, that obviously speaks to people perceiving me differently and seeing the value that I bring.

Melody Wilding: Absolutely. Absolutely. We have touched on a few things in the program. For example, a lot of the modules that we go through in the lessons. What else have you found valuable about the experience of being in Speak Like a Senior Leader specifically, or maybe even compared to some of the other things you’ve done in the past?

Karla Balcita: What I think is really valuable is just being in that group with other people who are going through similar things, and so even though I may not be going through something specific in the moment, I most likely will be going through something like that in the future, or I may have in the past.

Karla Balcita: It just hasn’t been coming up for me at that particular moment. And so it’s good to hear different people’s perspectives and what they’re going through and how they’re getting coached through the program as well. And learning from their experiences as well as my own. And hearing from their capabilities as well, like how they’ve dealt with certain situations. That’s really valuable. What I really love about the Speak program as well is like the skill drills and putting in the reps and having those practice scenarios and being able to practice with others as well. When I’m able to join the meetings, those workshops live has been really, really valuable.

Karla Balcita: But even if I’m not able to join live, I can do it on my own time as well. And use real life scenarios as those practice sets as well. I think that has been incredibly valuable.

Melody Wilding: Yeah. Yeah. A few things with that. You know, we really wanted to set out to create a program that was interactive — that wasn’t just, because listen, we know you could go to ChatGPT and you could ask it certain questions, right? But number one, ChatGPT isn’t going to have the years of experience and being able to diagnose situations like we can.

Melody Wilding: But second, you need to put in the practice and like you were saying, that’s why we have tried to create the program as a microcosm of — this is a low stakes environment where you can just get some reps in with these skills. So the first time that you’re doing them is not in that high pressure meeting. You’ve had some practice applying it to a situation or working on a script that might fit something you’re dealing with. You’ve had some of these words and structures literally come out of your mouth instead of just intellectualizing about it. It makes a night and day difference in the level of success you can have with it.

Melody Wilding: And what you were saying about other people’s experiences, I think is something people don’t appreciate enough about group programs, which Speak Like a Senior Leader is — which is the multiplication and the amplification of the coaching. You do get, it’s not just about your situation, but you get to see a wider range. It’s questions. Sometimes people will think, I didn’t even know to ask that, but I really appreciate that this person asked about this really tricky problem they’re having with their cross-functional colleague because oh, now that you mention that, I do see that happening for me too, and that was really helpful.

Melody Wilding: Or I see how I can apply this tip in this other way. So there is so much that’s transferable that you get so much more than if you didn’t have any of that interaction or it was just focused on your situation. Yeah. Karla, two last questions. First, what is next for you in your career as you look to the horizon, the next six months or so? What are you excited about? What are you working towards for yourself?

Karla Balcita: I’m working towards making a bigger impact in what I’m currently doing and hopefully broadening that across teams. So that’s my goal is to extend my expertise, hopefully across other teams and my impact across other teams, so that I can make a bigger impact on the work that I’m doing and supporting the company that I work for.

Karla Balcita: Of course, I always wanna do what’s best for the business and making a bigger impact is that’s my goal for the next at least six months plus.

Melody Wilding: Yeah, it’s perfect timing to have done these skills then, because in that type of environment where you’re having to influence and persuade people, more people, people who may have higher scrutiny or higher expectations, and who you may not have direct authority over, then the way you present yourself, how you articulate your ideas, the level of polish you have to your communication, it just becomes all the more important.

Melody Wilding: So it sounds like perfect timing to have done this, and I know you are only halfway through the program, barely at this point, but with what you have done so far — is Speak Like a Senior Leader or something else you would recommend to someone similar at your level and why?

Karla Balcita: Yeah, absolutely. I think that there’s so many practical tools available from the program and learning how to apply those tools and speak in a specific way. And everything we just talked about, I think is incredibly valuable to anybody, whether it be at my level or even more senior. If you have these similar challenges, like this is a valuable program to learn how to manage those situations and how to pivot your communication style.

Melody Wilding: Amazing. Karla, thank you so much for joining me today for sharing your story. I know this is going to help and give a sense of possibility to a lot of people, so I really appreciate you taking the time.

Karla Balcita: Of course. Thanks for having me, Melody.