Have you ever worked with someone who was great at their job, yet seemed to think the rules didn’t apply to them?
This happened to Elena, a communications manager, who had been partnering with Theo, a web developer, for the past year. “Theo’s work is top-notch,” Elena told me. “He brings fresh ideas and I love brainstorming with him. But he totally ignores our processes and it’s really frustrating.” Even though Theo’s skills were undeniable, his disregard for company protocols was creating constant headaches. Elena found it challenging to practice patience every time Theo skipped the code review or overlooked their brand standards.
Having a colleague who doesn’t respect the rules isn’t unique to Elena and Theo. Maybe you have an account manager who never updates the CRM or deals with a department head who’s always late to meetings. It could be the finance lead who overspends and claims “it’s for a good reason” or the systems analyst who installs unauthorized tools. Rule-breakers can be found in every field and at every level.
Working with someone like this can be aggravating, but dealing with difficult colleagues is simply part of professional life. Marching up and demanding they follow the rules rarely works. Instead, you’ll need to tackle the issue without causing hostility or damaging your relationship. Here’s how.
Put Your Colleague’s Rule-Breaking in Perspective
It’s natural to get frustrated when you’re left fixing mistakes or covering for a coworker who ignores the “right way” to do things. You might feel like you’re always cleaning up after them, correcting errors, or handling tasks they skip.
Before letting resentment take over, pause and consider the fundamental attribution error – a common cognitive bias where we blame someone’s behavior on their personality, while overlooking external circumstances. In other words, it’s easy to assume your coworker is careless, lazy, or purposely causing trouble. But there could be other factors at play. Maybe they’re distracted by personal issues, or perhaps they’re under intense pressure from leadership to deliver fast results, even if it means cutting corners.
This doesn’t excuse their actions, but recognizing there may be more to the story can help you approach the situation with a cooler head.
Start with Curiosity, Not Confrontation
Pick a calm moment when you and your colleague can talk without distractions. Begin with a non-confrontational question that opens the door to dialogue: “I’ve noticed you often take a different approach to [process]. Can you share your thinking behind that?” or “It seems like [protocol] isn’t working for you. What’s making it challenging?”
As you listen, ask follow-up questions like:
- What parts of the process actually work for you?
- If you could change one thing, what would it be?
- Since we can’t skip [process] entirely, what would a reasonable compromise look like?
Show that you’re interested in understanding, not just pointing out flaws. You might discover your colleague was never properly trained or that they’re drawing on experience from a previous job where things were done differently.
Clarify the Why
Sometimes, your coworker simply doesn’t see the value in following certain rules. They might view them as pointless red tape. Your role is to bridge this gap by explaining not just why the rules exist, but how following them can benefit everyone, including them.
For example, Elena told Theo, “I get that code reviews feel like a slowdown, but they’ve prevented major problems down the line. Remember the Orion project last spring? The review caught a security glitch early, which saved the dev team from a week of emergency fixes.”
Always frame the conversation around what’s in it for them: following the process could mean fewer last-minute scrambles, less redoing work, more recognition, or better work-life balance.
Offer Flexibility Where You Can
Think about where you might be able to meet your colleague in the middle. Is there room to tweak a process while still keeping essential checkpoints? The aim is to uphold the intent of the rule, while making the process easier for everyone involved.
For example, you could:
- Suggest a quick 15-minute check-in instead of a full hour-long meeting
- Propose batching updates once a week, rather than requiring daily input
- Design a template that makes it easier for them to create reports in the preferred format
Frame these adjustments as experiments. Set a clear timeline (maybe a month or a quarter) to test the new approach, then regroup to see what’s working and what needs to be refined.
Hold Your Ground When Pressured
Even after doing your best to be flexible and understanding, there will be times when you need to draw a clear line. Respond politely but firmly. Acknowledge their urgency, then reinforce your boundary. For example: “I get that you want to move quickly. The best way to make that happen is to submit it through this form, and then we’ll review and prioritize your request.”
If they push back or argue, calmly repeat your stance: “I understand you’re in a hurry, but our process is to triage everything that comes in through the form. That’s how we make sure every department’s requests are handled fairly.”
Navigating rule-breakers isn’t easy, but it’s a valuable skill. With empathy, tact, and a willingness to stand firm, you can keep your work – and your team – on track.
